It’s Not Over

by desing | Faith & Purpose

You ever faced a dead situation?

A situation that looks so impossible that you don’t believe that there is any way that it can change?

Or you been waiting and waiting and waiting for something to change in your life and it looks like it’s never going to happen.

What do you do when you’re faced with a challenge that seems so much bigger than anything you’ve ever dealt with?

I can actually telling you because I’m facing one of those situations and as a matter of fact, I would not be here if my mother had listened to the doctors who told her I was “dead” in her womb.

See when my mother was a few months pregnant with me, she went to the doctor and they told her the her pregnancy had made a tragic turn for the worse. They urged her to schedule an abortion because the baby inside of her was not going to make it.

What did my mother do? Well, she went home, got on her knees and prayed. My mother is no praying woman, she just humbled herself and believed that there was a God who could help her so she cried out for His help. In that moment, she felt me kick. Well look at God!

I have another one for ya!

Have you ever heard the testimony of the gospel singer, Travis Greene? You might know him from hit songs like “Intentional.” Well, did you know that he too was in a “dead” situation. When he was 4 years old, he fell out of a 4-story window. His body laid on the floor and the white sheets covered him. His mother picked up his lifeless, little body and cried out to God knowing that only He has the power to raise any dead person, situation or problem…Travis wakes up.

But that’s not even the best part of the story! A few days after he gets released from the hospital. Little Travis tells his mother, “Mommy, I have to tell you what happened to me when I fell.” His mother urges him not to talk about it because the doctors warned that Travis may experience shock. However, Travis insists. So Mom decides to listen.

He says, “Mommy, when I fell, I never hit the ground – a big hand caught me before I hit the ground. Then I saw a big man who saved me and he asked me whether I wanted to go with him or to go back to my mommy. I told him that I wanted to come back to my mommy. Then He told me that he would take me back to my mommy. Then I asked him. ‘Excuse me sir, what’s your name?’ He says…my name is Jesus.”

I know this may seem unorthodox or not politically correct but there is so much power that God has that we’re not tapping into. We have so much unbelief and doubt going on that we have more faith in what we see or what we scroll through than in God. And we wonder why we don’t see miracles anymore?

I’m not sure what dead situation you’re faced with but I have been sent to tell you that God will turn it around.

Let me keep it real with you. I don’t write these posts just to write them. I pray and ask God to use me as a vessel to send a message to His daughters. Even as I write this, He’s the one telling me to include the testimony about my mother and Travis Greene. I wanted to write something else but I’m being led by Him to get to you – God loves you that much that He wants you to know that He is right there in it with you!

Yesterday my pastor also shared a testimony that I want to share with you. A few years ago, he felt an unction in His spirit to go and pray for a man who had just been a part of pipe explosion and whose burns covered his entire body. The doctors, nurses and everyone else around him had lost hope. They had written him off and were only making him comfortable in the hospital until the inevitable came. As my pastor was on his way to pray for the hopeless situation, he felt an unction in his spirit to simply thank God for his healing.

He goes into the hospital room and he does just that, thanks God for his healing. Within ONE WEEK, the man’s condition SUDDENLY take a drastic turn for the BETTER!

One week!

A few weeks later, he walks out of that hospital. Not only that but he also won a lucrative settlement case against Con Edison for the damages from the explosion.

I believe that sometimes God allows things to die in our lives in order to show up and do the impossible to demonstrate His love for us and to restore us to an even greater reward.

God answers your prayers because of His love for you. Every answered prayer, every dead situation brought back to life is a manifestation of His love for you.

Miracles are manifestation of God’s love for you.

God does not take any pleasure in seeing you suffer, crying, in lack, hurting, lonely, depressed, sick or losing.

So whatever looks dead, it’s NOT OVER!

To let you into what’s been going on with me…I too am facing a dead situation. God gave me a promise about something 2 years ago and by the looks of things, it looks dead with the nail in the coffin. I was so discouraged, crying and worrying until I started speaking to some of the elders in my life.

Each and everyone of them told me the same thing which was this – I have the power of God with my faith and my words to turn things in my favor. I had to start applying everything I knew – praying in faith, declaring and decreeing God’s promises out loud, thanking God in advance for the manifestation and most of all – not to give into fear, not be distracted with what I’m seeing and stay focused on Who my help comes from.

Then I got excited. I changed my mind! God allowed it to get it like this so now He can take over, so now I can know that it was nothing but His love for me, His power that brought back to life the very promise that He gave me.

When you keep looking at the dead situation, it will only scare you. But if you take your eyes off your problem and onto your God then you will encourage your faith.

You can’t just sit there and cry about it anymore. Get up. Pray in faith. Command your blessings to come to you. But this is the one thing that you need while doing this…

Confidence!

You have to have full confidence in the words you’re speaking and the God you’re serving. It doesn’t matter what you say, if you don’t believe it then it’s a waste of time.

What helps me is believing God’s love for me and that He wants it for me more than I do. God wants to do it for you!

Will you believe in His love for you to resurrect that dead situation?

If you do, then it’s not over! As a matter of fact, it’s just the beginning! Have confidence…

Don’t Be Unkind to Yourself Anymore

by desing | Faith & Purpose

I know you’re probably familiar with something called an “a ha” moment. Oprah coined the phrase a few years ago and according to Dictionary.com it is a point in time, event or experience when one has a sudden insight or realization.

I’ve had many of these moments as I’m sure that you have as well. Nevertheless, this past weekend I had one of those moments that was not just an “a ha” moment but this was a defining moment. I had a sudden realization that took so much unnecessary weight off of my shoulders. Not only did it hit me, but I know that it’s probably something many of the women I know and motivate need to know.

While watching Iyanla Vanzant’s, Iyanla Fix My Life, she said something powerful to someone she was counseling.

She says “It is unkind, it is unloving to yourself to be hard on yourself when you are learning to do something that no one has taught you to do.”

Wow!

How many of us are learning to do something that we’ve never learned how to do, nor have we had it modeled for us, nor do we have access to resources or relationships to get it done and yet and still, we beat ourselves up for not getting it right, every time.

Beloved, don’t be unkind or unloving to yourself any longer.

How many of us were raised by a broken generation where our mothers may not have shown us the tools and resources to become women? How many of us really know about womanhood or manhood when generations before us may not have known much about it either as they were raised by another broken generation? We may know how to cook, pay our bills, work hard, be responsible, clean our homes and be “strong” – which in times can be a curse as we think that being “strong” is acting like we have it all together, all of the time no matter how ugly the situation really is. Is that really strength? And then we wonder why so many of us are breaking down. Did you know that suicide is the leading cause of death for millennials?

Or better yet. How many of us grew up in an environment where there was no such thing as going after your dreams? How many of grew up neighborhoods where we were surrounded by poverty or hopelessness? How many of us have grown up in homes where working for a job that you hate but pays the bills for 20 years in order to get a pension and retire is considered the creme de la creme of the American dream?

How many of us come from broken families where we never witnessed a healthy marriage relationship? How many of us grew up in hostile environments where there was abuse or addiction that tore your childhood apart?

So now here you are…25, 30, 35, 40 years later trying to learn how to become a woman where what may informs your perception on womanhood may be your upbringing, pop culture or social media. But what if the philosophy that you’re learning from is a philosophy based on failure? How can you really learn about womanhood when you may have not had anyone to teach you?

Perhaps you’re trying to break the chains of generational poverty and you’ve decided to build a business. You’re all about making your dreams come true – no matter how hard it gets. Of course you’re going to make mistakes along the way! You’ve never had anyone model that for you so why are you going to be unkind to yourself and beat yourself up when you miss the mark?

You may be trying to or want to raise children in a healthy, happy home. You want to be a fabulous wife and a powerful mom – but you never even witnessed something like that. Of course, you’re going to make some mistakes girl!

I know that as a woman, we can be so hard on ourselves. Our greatest enemy are the thoughts that debilitate us into remaining broken, little girls because many of our mothers and fathers are broken girls and boys who did the best that they could with what they had.

I want you to forgive yourself. I want you to forgive yourself for expecting to have all the answers  about everything. I want you to forgive yourself for thinking that you need to have it all together, all of the time. I want you to stop being hard on yourself as you learn to do something that no one has taught you how to do.

No one may have taught you how to be a healthy, confident, whole woman of faith. No one may have taught you how to think, speak and attract success. No one may have taught you how to be a great mother. No one may have taught you how to become a wife. No one may have taught you how to build a powerful business or how to build a financial legacy of wealth.

But guess what? You’ve decided to do it! And as you learn, you’re going to be able to teach, mentor and guide others how to do what you’ve done. That’s going to be your legacy!

So if you don’t know anything about scaling a business then read books about it and attend conferences. If you don’t know about having a healthy, happy marriage or anything about being a wife (not a girlfriend as there is a HUGE difference), then set up coffee dates with women who can guide you. You can actually listen to my latest podcast episode on Becoming a Wife here. If you don’t know about building wealth then download podcasts on wealth building or watch helpful YouTube videos.

Go to counseling, therapy, get a coach, ask someone to be a mentor – start to do what you can to learn and become the woman you’ve been predestined to be. You can download my courses on womanhood, goals, positive thinking and join my private Embrace Her Legacy Facebook group here.

Then the best thing that you can do is to simply pray and ask God for help. God loves you and is on your side. The very hairs on your head are numbered by Him! Ask Him to help you learn to do whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish. He may often allow a circumstance that He’ll use as a tool to help you grow.

Once you pray, surrender it. God is not mad at you for the mistakes you’ve made along the way. He only has good thoughts about you! Yes, God only has good thoughts about you that can’t even be numbered – they outnumber the grains of sand! Did you catch that?

So if God only has good thoughts about you, I think it’s only right to have good thoughts about yourself. No more being unkind to yourself…

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO
Embrace Her Legacy

The Scary Thing About Fear

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Fear isn’t anything to play with. But yet, it has such stronghold on many of us and we don’t even know it. Have you ever been taunted with fearful thoughts? How does it feel?

Not good!

Palms are sweaty. Chest caves in. Your soul feels like it’s in a knot.

This is not normal.

There comes a point where you have to declare war on fear because if you haven’t noticed,  fear has already declared war on you without your permission. It’s up to you to sit there and take it or to fight back.

You know what the scary thing about fear is?

It has the power to manifest exactly what you fear to become reality in your life. The more you fear it, the power you give it to operate in your life. Fear gives the opportunity for all the negative to come to fruition. Every time you meditate on fear – you are giving fear, negative and evil forces the authority to work in your life.

I don’t know about you but I have NO time for it anymore. If you’ve been losing, ask yourself if there is any form of fear that you’re meditating on that you’ve allowed to produce fruits of fear in your life.

The opposite of fear is indeed faith. But I got to keep it all the way real with you, it doesn’t stop there. I had the hugest “a ha” moment the other day when I realized that I had “half way faith”, I had faith in myself, in things, in money, in what other people would tell me instead of having faith in the only being who can do the impossible on my behalf…that’s God.

I started to take my eyes off of the opposition and my eyes off every thing that I had mistakenly put my trust in and started to magnify and put my trust in God. Not only did I magnify Him but I had to put my faith in His love for me. It’s not just faith that we need, it’s faith in the love that God has for us.

Faith and love will overcome any fear but it’s contingent on your perspective. Your opposition may be an opportunity for you to grow in your faith and see the impossible happen on your behalf.

But because fear has declared war on you, you have to do what any soldier does – develop a strategy to defeat your opposition. 

Whatever it is that you really, really want – along with working diligently towards it – you are going to have to fight the negative energy that has been set in place to try to knock you out before you see it happening.

Like I said in a previous post, it’s time for you to war differently. Your opposition knows exactly what to do to get under your skin because you’ve been studied. Are you going to continue to sit there and let all hell break lose in your life or are you going to do something different this time?

Let be real with you…it doesn’t matter what goals you’re working towards because if you don’t have the mindset and character to maintain the responsibility of those goals then it’s never going to happen. If you can’t believe that you can trust God to take care of you while you make a leap of faith of purpose then how will you believe that God will provide income for you and a staff of 25 employees for your dream business. We go from faith to faith.

Maybe you’re being delayed in seeing your breakthrough because you’ve allowed your mind to be controlled by fear, doubt, negative, suspicious, judgment and unbelief. Maybe God wants to give you the desires of your heart but you fail to believe that He can.

Don’t limit the power of God. Do you know that He loves you? Do you believe that He’s on your side? Have you limited His power to work on your behalf?

I have a confession to make. I realized that my mind has been infested with doubtful, fearful and anxious thoughts because I didn’t really have the right perspective of God. Until you change your perspective of God then you’ll keep experiencing the God that you perceive.

God is love – like all about love. The great part is that His love isn’t contingent on what you do first, He loves you unconditionally. There is nothing you can do today or tomorrow to get God to love you any more than He already does. Not only does God loves you, He likes you. It’s His great pleasure to give you the desires of your heart – He will never give up on you!

There I was asking God to do mighty miracles but I kept thinking in a way that opposed the very thing I was praying for.

The strategy to win against fear includes thinking on thoughts on what you want, thinking positively and thinking the promises of God. What I mean on the promises of God are Scriptures that speak into your situation. You can’t believe God if you don’t know His promises. You can’t win over fear if you don’t know the power that you have working for you.

So the first step is to substitute thoughts. 

Then you have to start speaking out loud what you want to see and those promises. I’m not saying to ignore whatever you’re facing but instead of getting on the phone and telling everyone how “broke” you are or you’re never going to get married or you’ll never get promoted – speak out a positive affirmation. Every time you speak negatively, you are predicting your own future!

Use your words to change your situation. Your words are spirit, filled with power! Use them to your advantage. This is bigger than calling things into existence, this is a call to confess what God says and can do about your situation. So instead of “I’m broke” say “I know I can trust God’s power to supply everything that I need.” Instead of “I have no clients” say “I know God can open doors that no one can shut and prosper me. I can trust Him to accelerate my business.” Instead of looking at the guys you’re dating with no hope, say “God, I know you’re sending the right person to me right now.” Every time a nagging thought of fear comes nagging in your mind, speak your power words out loud – yes every time.

So my challenge for you is to write down a list of affirmations that you will speak out every morning. This is only if you’re serious and you want to get out whatever season of lack, wilderness, loneliness, sickness, delay that you’re in. A lot of us are waiting on God not realizing that we have a part to play in going to the next level.

Write down where you’ve been struggling with fear the most and determine what is it that you’re opposition is after. Whatever is being attacked the most in your life is a HUGE indicator of where your destiny lies and what your opposition is afraid of most.

I don’t think you know how dangerous you’ll become when you become a woman grounded in faith because nothing will be impossible to you and you’ll set out to do any and everything! This is what your opposition is after…are you going to keep allowing fear to win or will you create your battle plan for victory – which you already have btw.

You can start by downloading my courses on Defeating Fear and Developing a Winning Mindset here where I help you create your plan. I think $12 is worth it, start to see yourself as victorious and you will be!
XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO
Embrace Her Legacy
@embraceherlegacy

What Separates the Girls From the Women

by desing | Faith & Purpose

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a little quiet for the past few days. I’m actually coming off from celebrating my 32nd birthday and I needed to take some much needed time to reflect.

Isn’t it funny how you can think that all is well in your life until something happens to reminds you of your weaknesses and frailty as a woman? I don’t know about you but I have a problem being “weak” or making mistakes; like most of us I have been deceived into thinking that I have to be strong all of the time at all costs in order to protect myself. But what I’ve learned is that desire to pursue perfection is nothing but another form of bondage.

You are not perfect nor will you ever be and the desire to walk in perfection is often rooted in fear – the fear of rejection, disappointment, pain or judgement. That’s when I was reminded that “perfect love casts out all fear.” God’s love for you is greater than your fears.

Whatever it is that you may fear, I want you know that every time you meditate on it in your mind, you are giving that fear the power to manifest in your life. There comes a point where you have to make the decision to grow from being a girl to becoming a woman – and that doesn’t happen when you buy your first home, move into your first apartment, get married or have children – becoming a woman happens when you decide to mature.

All change in your life begins with a decision and is followed by a process.

One of the things I realized in my solitude and after a series of events that transpired over the last few days was that I was thinking like a “scared girl” instead of like the woman of God that I know that I am. I was still allowing the same fears to plague me. I was still giving room for negative thinking in my life because I was allowing what I see to frustrate my faith. I recognized that I was allowing the opposition that I’ve experienced to steal my faith and challenge the beliefs that I had about God, His promises for me, my dreams and my destiny.

While sitting at the kitchen table in the home of one of my dear friends and mentors, she looks to me and says this, “Maria, it’s time to grow up. It’s time to make the decision to mature. You can’t fight this battle the way you’ve been doing and you need to make that decision tonight.” I didn’t understand what she meant until she prayed for me and all of a sudden I felt the overwhelming presence of God unction me to let go of all fears and no longer be intimidated by whatever opposition I was being faced with. In that moment, I magnified God’s power and promises instead of my circumstances. I started to declare with my mouth what it was that God has promised me. I declared that I would see every promise made to me realized…in spite of whatever the giant in front of me was trying to intimidate me into thinking.

Here’s the thing. Your opposition knows you very well and will keep attacking the same areas in your life because it knows it can get a reaction out of you or better yet, get you to participate in your own demise and sabotage yourself.

Where is it in your life that you keep getting tempted to quit? What is it that’s intimidating you that doesn’t allow you to consistently fight and believe? What scary thing is screaming and taunting at you telling you that it’s never going to happen?

Perhaps you grew up in a broken home and your scary giant is telling you that you’ll never meet your husband and build a happy life together. Perhaps you’ve submitted your manuscript to 25 publishers and your giant is telling you that your book will never get published and you keep giving into defeat. Maybe your health has taken a toll and your giant is telling you that you’re not going to make it. Maybe you’ve been contemplating suicide because you’ve lost all hope that your situation can get any better. Maybe your brother who is addicted to drugs is on his 3rd stint in rehab and you don’t believe that things will ever change for him.

Maybe your boss keeps triggering your nerves and the hopes for that promotion are slim to none and you keep crying about it. Maybe you want to take that leap of faith to start that business but your bank account is screaming “You can’t make it happen”, so you keep reporting to a job that you hate in tears. Maybe you keep reacting to the same people who spread lies about you by yelling, screaming and going off the handle instead of growing up and walking away.

I don’t know what’s been triggering you lately. I don’t know what fear has you in bondage. I don’t know what giant is screaming at you in the middle of the night causing nightmares but this is a message for you to serve notice on that giant and make a decision to grow up and mature in how you choose to respond to those triggers.

Your enemy is going to attack the same places over and over again until he doesn’t get a reaction out of you. Until you pass the test, you will never progress to the next level. And the change happens in your mind first. You can’t wait until you are married to become a wife…start thinking like one in spite of what your current love life looks like. You can’t wait until you see a multi-million dollar business until you believe that you can build one…start to believe that your hair-care business is already on sale at every Walgreen’s. You can’t wait until your boss stops nagging you until you believe that you have that promotion…believe that corner office is yours anyway.

Girls are easily rattled by whatever opposition they experience. They give into their emotions and lack discipline. As a result of that lack of discipline, girls experience unnecessary pain that weighs tons instead of the pain of discipline that weighs ounces. Girls “clap back” to any little insult, are stricken with fear and are easily offended.

Women know how to manage their emotions. Women know that if God is for me, who dare be against me? Women believe in spite of what they see or feel nor is she easily offended. Women are not easily swayed by momentary feelings or discouragement, we understand that we have a battle to fight that’s so much greater than ourselves. Women don’t feel the need to vindicate themselves because they know that God will always step in and do what only He can. A woman trusts her God and believes His promises.

Don’t feel crazy either because I didn’t know I had little girl tendencies until a few days ago but I made the decision to mature and change my thinking. Just like my sis told me, I’m telling you…it’s time to make the decision to grow up!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO
Embrace Her Legacy
@embraceherlegacy