No One Has Time For You NOT to Negotiate

by desing | Tools

I know when I think about “negotiation “connoisseurs – I can’t bear but to think of a room of tough executives spewing warring words back and forth to each other in order to secure the best deal. OK, perhaps I may be exaggerating but being a great negotiator is a remarkable skill to have, not to mention it can come in handy in your career, business or even in everyday life. We have all heard that men tend to be better negotiators than women, but maybe it’s that we each have a different approach that we bring to the negotiation table.

Think about it for a second. It’s that time of the year where you know raises are being allocated into your company’s budget and you begin strategizing how you will reason your deserved raise with your boss. Or you have to “defend your case” when you’ve presented a $3,000 quote to provide marketing consultation to a company and they want to pay you $1,000. How do you prepare? What do you say? More importantly, how do you say it? Welp, it’s time to put your “big girl panties” on and get to negotiating as if you were a pro. How will you do it? I’m glad you asked! I’ve got you covered with a few helpful pointers because as I love to say “no one has the time” for you not to negotiate the best for yourself!

• Never negotiate from fear. As you read in part 1 of our “Negotiation Series” – starting out with fear is perhaps losing the battle before you’ve even suited up. Fear tends to happen when you have not properly prepared for that meeting or the deal. Once you walk in fearful, it will be easily detected.
• Deserving a raise just isn’t going to cut it. Your boss or potential client does not care about who you have to feed or how much you deserve that money. You have to present hard evidence that explicitly represent the value of your contributions, include solid facts and figures. Keep a trail of all of your accomplishments to use as leverage in negotiating. (Read more in our Paying Your Dues and Keeping Your Receipt article)
• Know the industry standard. Stay abreast of what your colleagues in your company or industry both male and female are making. Ask around or use websites like www.vault.com or www.glassdoor.com. This way you can learn if your compensation is comparable and the standard market value of your work.
• Don’t wait to deal with the raise until the last minute. Normally raises are allocated around the same time every fiscal year. Anticipate it ahead of time and prepare accordingly, great preparation exudes confidence and strategy. Practice until you are confident!
• Leave the apologies at home. Refrain from using “I’m so sorry to bother you with this” or “I hate to be a pest but…” Using that sort of language has you looking like a sore whimp from the jump. Be confident in asking for it.
• Never ask a “yes” or “no” question. Speak in terms that will get your boss or the potential client talking. Instead of asking, “I would like 10% raise, is that feasible?”, you should say “I was thinking of a raise in between 10% and 15%, which one would you like to approve?” This gets them talking instead of just saying no.
• Learn to play the game. If you really want to get a 10% increase or get paid $100 per hour for your consulting services, never start with that number. Start with a number that is higher than what you really want. For instance, if you want a 10% raise, ask for a 15% raise because chances are your boss will counteroffer with 12% or 10%, or even better, he or she may just give you the 15%. Either way, you win!
• The worst you can hear is no. If you hear no, it’s OK. But try to walk away with something. Perhaps an agreement to revisit in a few months or more vacation time.
• Have an attorney on call. Before you sign any contracts, please have it reviewed by your attorney. There could be loopholes in your raise agreement, so have it reviewed before you put your John Hancock on anything.
• Be ready to walk away. Sometimes there will be an instance where you will have to be prepared to walk away, sometimes your asking for a raise may tick your boss off so be prepared to walk away. Or perhaps it’s just not worth it, you have grown out of the job and it’s time to move on.
• You are most powerful when you don’t need the raise. When you have your finances straight and you have your emergency funds, retirement investments, sufficient savings and little debt then that enables you to be even more powerful in that negotiation room.  You are not negotiating from a place of desperation or fear; you are negotiating from a place of confidence, preparation and power. You better work it girl!

How Much Are Your REALLY Worth?

by desing | Tools

Do you know how much you’re truly worth? I know, we hear it over and over again, know you’re self-worth, you can do it, be secure, and be confident. But do you know how much you’re worth, if you had to put a dollar value to it? We are all priceless in our own right, but if you had to put a price tag on what it is that you bring to the table in your career or business, do you accurately know how much you’re worth and do you know how to validate  that “number” when someone tries to challenge paying you THAT much.

I put an emphasis on the THAT for a reason. The reason? Glad you asked! Because when you really understand your value of what you bring to your company, boardroom or freelance work then that number you come up with, may surprise you. You may begin to question yourself, “Can I really ask for THAT much?” The answer is that yes you can…because you’re worth it. But the key is you have to KNOW that you’re worth it. You have to be able to justify that number and do so with assurance and poise.

Where is all this coming from? Well, I had a dinner meeting that changed my life. I was asking questions on what to charge for upcoming projects and how to effectively price my work as “legacy enhancing and life enriching” speaker and specialist. She asked me “How much do you think you’re worth?” I thought of a number, but hesitated to say it because I didn’t think I was worth “THAT” much. I guess she sensed that and she then encouraged me to be honest with myself and to focus on learning how to defend charging “THAT” number. She then had me calculate the number of hours I would work and how much my expenses were when working on certain speaking engagements and projects. So I want to pass that onto you, especially fellow entrepreneurs and freelancers. Consider these helpful points when determining your “fee” –

• How much does it cost to prepare for that job? Consider all costs involved in preparation (supplies, transportation, etc). You have to make a profit to cover your costs.
• How many hours do you spend developing and then delivering the job? There is a difference with actually showing up to do the job and then the preparation that went into getting the job done. A stylist may take (2) hours to deliver the job on the set of the photo shoot, however, he or she probably took an additional (6) hours in pulling clothes, fittings and adjustments.
• What level of expertise and prior experience are you bringing to the job?  Perhaps you are a novice at what you’re doing so you may not want to charge the same as someone who is bringing 10+ years experience to the table. Consider all of your previous experience and achievements that you have.
• Is it better to offer a “package” price or an hourly rate price? Perhaps it makes more sense for you offer a “package” that includes a variety.  In your package, you can include a list of things that you’re offering or you can determine that you have a flat hourly rate for your services. Use whichever one makes sense to you for that job or client.
• After determining the costs, amount of time going into developing and then delivering, how much do you need to make an hour to determine your final fee? Do the math here.
• Charge THAT fee. 
• Consider having a price range. For example, you can say “I normally charge anywhere from $100 – $150 an hour for styling clients.” Be flexible where you can.

Yes, when you’re first starting you will take a hit and you will have to pay your dues. But please, keep your receipt from those dues paid. Most importantly, be OK with walking away from certain opportunities but discern when it makes sense to do something for free or discounted price. Perhaps you’re getting value in exposure, enhanced brand identity, experience or mentorship but make sure that you are walking away with something!

Embrace Getting Your Money RIGHT!

by desing | Tools

I noticed that I was constantly giving my friends advice on just some basics about their money and future. So I am certain that my gals were not the only ones out there who could use a little guidance on that so here are my top Do’s and Don’ts for your financial breakthrough!

• DO check your credit report from all 3 credit reporting agencies. (Transunion, Equifax and Experian). You are allowed a free copy (once a year) of your credit report from each agency. Check out www.annualcreditreport.com to get your free copy. Make sure that you are by a printer to print out your report when you’re ready to retrieve because you will not be allowed to go back to the site to obtain the report once you’ve already retrieved it.
• DO sign up for Score Watch ®on www.myfico.com. For about $20 a month (ladies this is the best $20 you can spend a month, remember it’s an investment in you), Score Watch® monitors your credit report daily and your FICO® score weekly. You get email notifications of any changes to your FICO score or credit report.
• DON’T try to “keep up with the Joneses”. I don’t know who they are but I sure know that it can be tempting to try and keep up. In today’s society, where we tend to define ourselves by our careers, financial status, cars or latest designer bag; it can be tempting to want to splurge in order to impress but do not get caught up in the hype! Stay true to yourself and by all means, treat yourself from time to time but be wise about it. Shop discount sites, look for sample sales, and explore new options that can be easier on your wallet.
• DO try and save at least 10% of your earnings for every paycheck. Yes, 10%. Try getting those savings automatically transferred into a high-yield savings account. Try www.hsbc.com for an online savings account or www.ingdirect.com – these institutions tend to have attractive interest rates. Do make sure the bank you choose is a member of the FDIC. The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) is an independent agency, implemented by the US Congress to guarantee the safety of depositing your money with that financial institution. Therefore, the FDIC just ensures that your money is safe.
• DO have an emergency fund. With today’s economy and tough job-market, it is imperative for each you to have an emergency fund. Fact is, that are jobs are no longer guaranteed and finding another may not happen immediately. So add up your monthly expenses and multiply that by 6 – that amount should be the minimal target amount of money that you should have saved for a rainy day.
• DON’T pass up on investing in your 401K! Ladies, I understand that retirement seems like eons away for some of us, but it’s super important to start preparing now. The earlier you start; the better off you will be in your “golden years”. As many of you already know, a 401K is a retirement savings account that allows a worker to save for retirement and have the savings invested while deferring current income taxes on the saved money and earnings until withdrawal – so this is tax-deferred money. In most cases, your employer will match your contribution to you 401k – yes, free money! So you should at least contribute enough to qualify for the company match. For my gals who work for themselves, you still have retirement account options like a Roth IRA which you can contribute up to $5,000 a year. A Roth IRA provides tax-free growth and tax free withdrawals as opposed to a 401K or traditional IRA. For more information on retirement savings, please feel free to check out the Resource Center at www.suzeorman.com
• Do read the following books by the one and only Suze Orman “Young, Fabulous and Broke” and “Women and Money” – you will indeed thank me later. Suze has a way of talking financial independence that’s empowering, informative and you can actually understand what she’s saying! She breaks down everything in the plain English; not that finance lingo that leaves us all with nothing but a headache.
• DON’T live in the blind about you and your family’s finances. Ok gals, I know this might be a sticky situation from some of us but it is vital that we are “in the know” about the state of our family’s expenses. How many times have we heard the stories of women allowing their spouses or significant others to manage all the finances only to learn later that things were not handled appropriately and now the house is in foreclosure or you’re in $145,000 worth of debt? When living with someone, whether it is a spouse, friend, boyfriend, or partner, you must know what’s going on with the finances. This should be a shared responsibility and not something that we give for someone else to do for us. I know this can be a tough conversation to have so try bringing it up casually over dinner so the other does not feel like he or she is not trustworthy. Let that person know that you want to be accountable for your finances too and let he or she know that it’s unfair for only one person to be responsible for the household’s finances. Make it a team effort!

Ask For What You Want

by desing | Tools

Developing the courage to ask for what you want sounds easy as 1, 2, 3. If we, as women, directly asked for what we want all the time, then the truth is that we’d probably advance a lot quicker in our careers, businesses and relationships. But the fear of being rejected or not being liked, or being perceived as uncooperative holds us back from speaking up at times. Am I alone on this?

Think about it, from young we are told to behave like a lady, to be prim and proper at all times. If we act out of line or character in the office or even in our relationships, we get pinned as being caught in our emotions. We complain about our jobs, bosses, co-workers, boyfriends and husbands; but have you ever stopped to think about how much power you have by just asking for what it is that you want?

Men don’t normally go around complaining about being overlooked for a raise, because most of the time, they are in front of their manager’s face asking for more, without the fear. Whether it is for a raise, more vacation time, or a promotion, men are less fearless at asking for what they want. Women on the other hand, tend to start off the conversation for asking for raise with an apology and a sappy face. “I’m sorry to bother you with this but…” Who is really going to take us seriously if that’s how we go into a negotiation meeting. We’ve lost before the conversation even started. We feel that we are being a “bother” or we feel our manager will not like us and then fire us and that’s the problem! As women, we “feel” too much. Stop feeling and gather up the courage to just ASK. I’m not saying walk around with a spirit of entitlement and greed, what I’m saying is it’s time to get in the game and play. Yes, the business world is a game and the quicker you accept that, the quicker you can suit up and start strategizing your moves. In this game, it’s about being respected and not all about being liked, not everyone will like you and that is fine.

This is not to make you feel defeated, I am talking to myself here too. I still deal with that fear of not being liked or of “asking for too much”. But ever since I started talking back to that fear and just ask for whatever it is that I want, I have seen some great results. You’d be amazed at what you can get out of life, if you just opened your mouth and asked for it. Even in our relationships, this habit comes into play. We all know the scenario where you’re dating a guy for a few months and now you want to take it to the next step. Instead of asking this person, “We’ve been dating for a while now, and I’d like to take this relationship to the next level. Where is it that you see this going?” We avoid the question, afraid of being labeled as “that girl” and keep hoping that he’ll bring it up and then get upset when a year down the line, he tells you that he doesn’t want to take it any further. Ladies, it time we gained the courage to always ask for what it is that you want. And you never know what the outcome may be. So here are some tips on how to gain the confidence to ask for a raise, which is something that I know plenty of you may struggle with.

POINTERS ON ASKING FOR A RAISE
**This of course considering that the raised is deserved after the work, achievements and sufficient amount of time**

1. Come to conversation prepared. Make sure that you have an outline of all the accomplishments and efforts that you have contributed to the company. It should be detailed. No one cares about who you have to feed or what financial struggles you may have, keep the outline to what you’ve done for the company. Also, make sure that you’re manager has a copy of the outline prior to the conversation.
2. Be aware of your company’s financial situation. If you know your company isn’t in the best financial conditions, take that into consideration when going into your meeting.
3. Be direct in your question and avoid ending your question with a smile or joke. We tend to smile or joke around to divert the intensity of the conversation but that just makes you look less competent. Speak articulately and slowly so that your manager completely understands what you are saying.
4. Be confident in yourself and what it is that you’re asking for. Know your worth and deny the thoughts of fear. If you dwell on those thoughts of fear, then your words and actions will soon follow.
5. When negotiating for a raise, don’t ask a question that can be answered in a yes or no. For example, you can ask, “can I get a raise?” Or you can say, “After reviewing my accomplishments and contributions to this company, I’m considering a 12% or 15% raise. Which one is best for you?” The ladder question gets you into a conversation with your manager, as opposed to your manager simply saying no to your raise. Also, if you really want a 12% raise, then make sure that you mention that as the lower option. It’s likely that your manager will go along the lower end of your bargain. And who knows, you just may end up with that 15%.
6. If you can’t get more money, then explore your options. Consider asking for more vacation time, a promotion or to be reimbursed for a course that will make you a better asset to the organization. Think about what you want.
7. When you and your manager come to an agreement, please get it in writing and don’t start “feeling” like you’re asking for too much. There is no powerful man that I know, that wouldn’t do this. It’s business first! Even if it’s in an email, keep your paper trail.
8. The worst that can happen is that you get denied for what it is that you’re asking for. Ask you manager if you can revisit this in a few months.
9. And if you’re not happy with your outcome, then start to take the outline of accomplishments and start looking to branch out to another company that is willing to compensate you more. They are always out there, stop being fearful and look for the opportunities. Ask your contacts, develop your LinkedIn page and update your resume.
10. Be proud of yourself and your success, you’re in the game now. Start thinking of what you want to ask for next!

8 MUST Have Qualities of a Wealthy Woman

by desing | Tools

This is the call for us to gain control over ourselves and our finances! And you shouldn’t feel guilty about putting yourself and your money first while doing so. Now I’m not “throwing any shade”, but the truth is that sometimes taking care of everyone else trumps taking care of ourselves. Nevertheless, it’s essential that we begin showing our money the same amount of tender, love and care that we show to our loved ones. Wouldn’t it feel great to know you’re on the right track to pay off your debts, you’re saving money in an emergency savings account for a rainy day and you have taken all necessary measures with your life-insurance plan to assure that you’re family is taken care of if something fatal were to happen to you?

It’s time that we take charge or our lives and take responsibility of our finances. I know it can be an overwhelming task to complete, and we even fear what we may encounter when we finally face the realities of our financial circumstances. Ladies, it’s time we put our “big girl” panties on and take charge over our financial situation. I am firm-believer that your life is a reflection of who you are on the inside. Outside of all the labels that we have career women, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, employee, or entrepreneur; there are factors in our inner self that either facilitate our growth in life or adversely hinder us from maximizing our true potential as women.

Therefore, I am recommending another Suze Orman book, Women & Money. Financial expert, Suze Orman wrote this book specifically

for us women. She is not speaking down to you, but she speaks to you in this book. She says “NO” to putting ourselves on “sale”, which is something that we do when we do not know our value. Furthermore, she shares the 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman; which I have decided to share with you. These qualities are all something that we can attain in our lives if we choose to do so; it’s about our inner attributes that aid us in truly becoming wealthy. Your wealth begins with your state of mind, you character has to be aligned with what it takes to essentially be wealthy.

8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman

Quality 1 & 2: Harmony & Balance
– Harmony: the agreement in feeling, approach and sympathy. It’s the agreeable interaction
of what you think, feel, say and do.
– Balance: the state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound
judgments.

The reason why these (2) qualities go together is because you cannot effectively have one without the other. When you have a harmonious spirit, what you say, think, feel and do align with one another. Sometimes we may think or feel one way but say another because we are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or we fear being rejected. But a woman of true wealth is not afraid to speak how she thinks (always in a respectable manner of course). When what we think, feel, say and do does not align with one another we tend to become emotional, irrational and experience imbalance. Being harmonious makes you balanced, and helps you live in a rational and calm state of mind.

Quality 3: Courage
– Courage: the ability to face danger, difficulties, uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear.

When you have harmony, you words and actions reflect how you actually feel. In order to do that, you must have courage. When you have true courage you’re not a slave to your fear. Courage helps you overcome all fear. But sometimes we lose our courage when we think we’ll hurt others. Fear does not allow us to be courageous. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real; therefore, do not allow your fears to control you. Whether it’s a fear of losing someone or fear of being scrutinized, learn to conquer your fear by adjusting your thoughts to think positively and step out on faith!

Quality 4: Generosity
– Generosity: giving the right thing to the right thing to the right person at the right time and
the both of your benefit

There is much power in giving and giving from a pure place in your heart. When you give from an honest perspective and you do not expect anything in return, it reciprocates a rewarding feeling that is overwhelmingly pleasing. Be sure to always give from a sincere place in your heart, but be conscious of how you give and realize what your intentions are. Give so that you both benefit, if you give someone money but you cannot afford your bills at the end of the month then you might want to reconsider. Give of yourself, even if it’s your time, but be wise in how much of yourself that you give.

Quality 5: Happiness
– Happiness: being in a state of well-being and contentment

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to allow situations to mess with your inner happy or you can choose to be happy no matter what life throws your way. Now this is far easier said than done, but you have to start practicing to do so. Practice makes perfect right? Be optimistic about your situations. When you’re harmonious, balanced, courageous, and generous then you can find happiness. If you feel that you’re not happy, try and figure out why and start from there. Maybe you’re not being appropriately compensated at work or you’re tired of always giving of yourself and not having it reciprocated. Think about what’s making you unhappy and develop the courage to choose to do something about it!

Quality 6: Wisdom
– Wisdom: the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions.

Can I just say that is my favorite quality! Ladies, if we do not own and use our wisdom then we can never really live and embrace our legacies. Wisdom shows us how to shut out the noise in our lives. We are inundated with all sorts of noise on a daily basis that can distract us from tapping into our inner power. A wise woman realizes her faults and plans to do something about it. Her faults and mistakes enable her to know better so that she can do better. Being wise means being conscious of your thoughts, words and actions. It’s about accepting responsibility and realizing what you need to do in order to make sensible decisions to get where you want to go in life.

Quality 7: Cleanliness
– Cleanliness: a state of purity, clarity and precision

Attaining cleanliness is about being orderly and organized. From the way you dress to the way you manage your important documents in the house are a reflection of your cleanliness. You want to always be presentable and your wallet or purse should also be organized. In the home, try to organize your clothes and put all of your important documents in a safe place. Even paying your bills in an orderly fashion is key. Keep all your bills in a folder and date when they’re due so you can pay ahead of time. Learn your credit card billing cycle so you know when to expect a bill or how to spend ahead of time. Being orderly is a task but make an effort to start somewhere, even if that means cleaning out your closet to get some space. Or better yet, start with organizing your wallet or purse perhaps that may be an easier task to being with.

Quality 8: Beauty
– Beauty: the combination of qualities in a person that gives you pleasure to the senses or
pleasantly exalts the mind or spirit

Beauty does indeed shine from within. True beauty is the culmination of all the other qualities working with one another. Your beauty and confidence exude from the inside when you incorporate all these qualities in your character. Be secure in yourself and in your ability, the power to be great lies within. Acknowledging and living in that beyond a doubt makes you beautiful. When you achieve the equilibrium state of these qualities then you are on your way to true wealth!