by desing | Faith & Purpose
The other day I told you that I was totally inspired by a message from my pastor focused on creating new methods to make your vision happen.
I applied this last week and you were SO helpful with completing the survey to help me implement new initiatives for Embrace Her Legacy. I’ve heard your needs and things are going to get exciting soon!
Now as we embrace a new month and the final quarter of the year, I want to teach you a few ways you can implement something that I’m calling “New Method Monday” in order to make your Monday’s a little more colorful.
Monday’s can be a drag if you’re trapped in a job you can’t stand. You know you want change but gaining clarity on what you want or where to start can be so daunting that you can get caught in the “hamster wheel” of life; moving but going nowhere fast.
Before you begin to make change you have to know where you’re going. In order to determine where you want to go, ask yourself this question: What’s my role in the world? Think bigger than your family, your community or your job. What do you want to contribute to this world?
Essentially, what do you want your legacy to be?
Once you’ve written that down, ask yourself, what is the vision for my life? This is the part where you take the limits off and think BIG! If you have an ideal business or career, then what’s the vision for it? You have to make it clear enough to write it down.
Now, ask yourself what matters most to me? What are your values and rank them in order of importance to you.
As you have clarified your role in the world, your legacy, your vision and your values then you can begin to identify new methods to achieve your life’s vision.
One thing I had to do was write down my old methods that were no longer helping me get where I want to be. Next to the old methods, I started to brainstorm new methods and I wrote down everything that came to mind.
As my mentor told me, your vision should drive your methods not the other way around. A method is a strategy that you are going to apply to realize the goal. You will never mature in life, if you’re not willing to change.
A new method for you to get where you want to be can be something as simple as disciplining your mind go believe for the best. I recognized that I was constantly expecting the worst or the not-so-good. That was a result of the environment I grew up in and previous disappointments I’ve experienced.
But like I told myself, I’m telling you this: Don’t allow the hurt, failures or disappointment of your past to steal the promises and possibility of your future.
So your task this week is to work on this New Method Monday Challenge by answering these questions:
- What’s my role in the world?
- What legacy do I want to leave?
- What’s the vision for my life?
- If there is a business, career or organization that you want to build then what’s the vision for it? Be clear.
- What are the old methods that are no longer helping me achieve my vision?
- What are new methods that I will apply to help me realize my role, my legacy and my vision?
If you want me to personally help you with this, I have a few strategy sessions available and you can confirm your spot here!
Keep building!
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
“How are you?”
Perhaps the most common question we get asked daily. No matter what’s really happening in your life, the most common response is…
“Fine.”
Sometimes that’s true. However, if you’ve been living long enough then you know that most times it’s a straight out lie. You may be hurting, depressed, in bondage to anxiety, dealing with betrayal from a loved one, don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills, down to your last $2, worried about your mother whose just been diagnosed with breast cancer but to everyone else you’re “fine.”
You’ve convinced yourself that you’re fine and even if you know that things are not fine, you will not dare admit that because after all, you’re a woman who is supposed to be “strong.”
This type of thinking and behavior is exactly what keeps us in bondage to our struggles. We ALL struggle and the lie is that you’re alone, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not.
Sometimes we want to show off our successes to inspire others but people are more inspired and ministered to by our struggles. There is something powerful that happens when you share similar struggles with someone else and comfort them with these words “me too.”
Today, I was inspired to write this by hearing pastor Steven Furtick speak on the power in “me too.”
Can you really relate to someone who has never had any problems, success came easy to them and life has never handed them a sour lemon? I think not! But when that woman that you look up to shares her deepest struggles with you she becomes a beautiful human being instead of an idol.
I don’t know about you but I can’t stand to listen to leaders, inspirers, teachers, speakers, pastors who act like they got it all together all of the time. I’m attracted to transparency and those are the BEST leaders and motivators.
I’m not sure what your struggle is right now but I’m here to tell you “me too.” I know what it feels like to be betrayed by your own personal Judas, in so much pain that all you can do is cry yourself to sleep in fetal position, tormented by fear and worry, feeling so rejected and alone that you feel like the only way out is a permanent solution and so broke that you can’t even afford a $3 coffee.
Yep, me too. When most people see me they wouldn’t think I’ve experienced and still am currently experiencing certain struggles. But prior to particular struggles in my life, I was arrogant as most of my life everything was handed to me. I know now what it means to wake up in the morning and have to make a conscious decision to choose joy because sadness, disappointment and hopelessness is creeping into your soul.
I’m now filled with compassion because I know exactly what struggle feels like. The struggle may be real but your struggles have more power than you may believe. This is your opportunity to be able to tell someone else, “Hey, me too!”
Your friend may have just lost her mother, you lost your mother a year ago so you know far too well the pain that she’s experiencing. You can empathize with her on an entirely different level. You’ve battled depression for most of your life and now you’ve been set free. Your ability to say “me too” to young student in your classroom can probably be the catalyst to change her life around. That addiction, that pain, that hurt, that brokenness, those failures, that temper, those disappointments, those hard seasons, the times you’ve looked for change in your coach just so that you can have enough for lunch are all a part of your “me too.”
Someone needs to hear your “me too”, someone (not everyone) needs you to get a little vulnerable and share your struggle. Use your struggles as stepping stones to lead you and empower you into your destiny.
Embrace the power in your “me too.”
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
Growing up, you are told that if you work really hard and complete your education then you will experience all the success that the world has to offer. Now I’m not saying that’s not the truth but it’s not the whole truth. As I’m sure you know by now, there are SO many hidden factors to success that simply are not taught in classrooms.
If you look at some of the most successful and prosperous people in the world (and I’m not referring to success in simply terms of money either), you will soon start to find similar traits of thinking, acting and deciding in each one of their lives. Whether it’s being goal-oriented, persistent, innovative, or disciplined with a daily routine, one can soon start to take notice that success is more than working hard.
The most common denominator in any happy, joyful, successful, faith-filled, goal-oriented person, healthy person is a trait that is actually invisible but it’s powerful. What’s that? It’s the way he or she chooses to think. It’s using the power in your mind to believe first and then see your desired results. I’m sure you’ve heard it over and over again that the greatest asset to your success is the way you think as what you think about you become.
Your thinking can be the greatest asset or liability towards your personal success. Please note that I’m referring to experiencing success in all areas of your life – personal well-being, career, business, family, relationships, finances and health. Negative thinking can keep you in a stagnant place, a place where you will keep going around in circles wondering why your life sucks.
But there is another sneaky little culprit that is invisible which will torment you and blocks all sorts of good things happening to you. I’m referring to unforgiveness.
OK, I know that most people cringe when you think about forgiving people for the harm that they have caused you but when you harbor unforgiveness and offense in your heart, you become someone who is open to torment in your soul. When you choose to hold onto your hurts, you are giving other invisible enemies like bitterness, anger, rage, resentment, fear, worry and anxiety to reign and rule over your heart.
Once these emotions start to control you (and most of the time you won’t even know it), you are allowing strongholds to be manifested into your soul. Strongholds are invisible walls that will prevent you from experiencing all that God has to offer you. You’ll live your life serving your emotions and allowing them to make your life a roller coaster and living hell.
The deceiving thing about unforgiveness is that you’re fooled into thinking that it won’t have an adverse effect on any other part of your life, but boy is that a lie! The other lie that we fall for is that if you forgive then you’re “weak” and it excuses the other person’s behavior…another set of lies.
Forgiveness is a release for you and NOT for the other person. Forgiveness is not something that is deserved; it’s something that is given. If you are waiting for someone to earn your forgiveness then you are not truly extending forgiveness.
How can you experience success if you become a woman who is bitter, angry, resentful and worried? We put such an emphasis on working hard when it comes to experiencing success but we totally ignore the invisible enemies that hold us back from receiving the desires of our heart.
I refuse to underestimate the pain that you’ve suffered or what you have been thru, nor am I telling you to downplay it, nor am I telling you not to get help if you need it. Bad things happen to good people and that’s because we live in a fallen, broken world.
But if you have been experiencing resistance in your success in your emotional well-being, career, business, finances, relationships, family or health, then see if you are holding onto any pain or unforgiveness.
Start by choosing to stop replaying the pain. And if you got to start out by forgiving in faith first by simply writing it down and reading it out loud every morning until you believe what you wrote down, then do what you have to. Say it and keep repeating it. “I have completely forgiven ______ for _______.”
Make a decision to choose to forgive and start your healing process. Release that person from your soul and release the “debt” that they owe you. Is holding onto your pain worth the rest of your life? Is holding onto your pain worth that happy family you want? Is holding onto your pain worth those sleepless nights of worry? Is holding onto your pain worth your business making 6-figures? Is holding onto your pain worth your dreams?
Let me answer for you…it’s not.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
If you live in the US, then you know that this weekend marks the unofficial end of summer. Whether that’s good news or not for you depends on whether or not you prefer warmer or cooler weather. One thing for sure is that it’s definitely a time of exchange.
You have to exchange the sandals for boots, the bathing suits for a backpack, the iced cold Latte for a warm cup of apple cider and the air conditioner for the heater.
Just as we need to exchange the old for new in our natural lives, it’s time to start making that very exchange in every other area of our lives too. It’s time to exchange the fear for faith, unhealthy relationships with new relationships, worry for trust, lack for prosperity, troubles for triumph, and failures for successes.
Before any real change happens in your life, it must first begin in your mind. The world has this unfruitful mentality that says, “I’ll believe it when I see it”. However, as a woman who is achieving a legacy of faith, purpose and success you have to decide to exchange that mindset to “I believe it so I will see it.” Successful people think about all the possibilities while unsuccessful people keep replaying the failures; allowing those past disappointments to limit the possibilities of the future.
Don’t let this be you.
I understand how difficult it can be to move forward when you’ve experience so much disappointment, discouragement, pain and failures in your past. But just as I’ve had to encourage myself, I am going to encourage you to exchange the old for the new.
What’s an old way of thinking or acting that you need to exchange for doing things differently? If you’ve experienced failures in gaining clients for your business, then maybe you should exchange your old marketing strategies for some new, innovative ways to reach your target audience. Maybe you need to exchange the fear of rejection and failure for faith that God will take care of you. Maybe you need to exchange trying to do everything on your own for asking for help when you need it. Or maybe you need to exchange working for someone else to finally working for yourself.
A great way to start deciding where you need to exchange the old for the new is to set your top 10-15 goals for next 12-16 months. Don’t wait until January to start thinking about what you want to accomplish in 2017. Last week, I set my 2017 goals and started working towards them too so I’m not encouraging you to do something I’m not doing.
Also, don’t limit your goals to business, money, career or health goals either. Consider all areas of your life including your emotional well-being, family, relationships, and confidence. Write down these goals so that they are positive, measurable and specific. Don’t allow your current situation or past failures to frustrate the opportunities for your future. I highly suggest you take my Goals Bootcamp course to get you well on your way!
If what you are thinking, speaking or doing is not getting you closer to those goals that you’ve written down then it’s time to exchange some old ways for some new ones. Your thoughts and words can be the very things that are holding back the new season of victory in your life. You are NOT a failure, you CAN get through this, and happiness IS available to you.
As you write down those goals, consider what old habits you are going to have to exchange for something new. If you want to save $5,000 then maybe you have to exchange buying lunch every day to packing your lunch from home. If you want to become a woman who is filled with faith then you should exchange fear-based thoughts for faith or take 10 minutes to pray in the morning instead of using those first 10 minutes to check social media.
You might be a few days away from things changing in your favor but what if it’s waiting for you to change your attitude first? What if your breakthrough was at the other side of you exchanging complaining for being grateful?
One of my greatest lessons of my journey has been that oftentimes we want to have God magically remove our troubles but sometimes those very troubles are what He may use to develop something new on the inside of us.
In the light of this new season of victory that is waiting for you to grab hold of it, what are you going to exchange for something new? Write it down and do what it says!
Here are some resources to help you:
- Take my Goal-Setting Success Bootcamp Course here
- Order our Slaying My Goals Journal to write down your goals, action steps and new exchanges here
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
If I told you that you were at war right now would you believe me? Well, you are because everything in life is a fight for territory and everything good that you desire is going to have to require your fight for it. The act of fighting can sound gritty because that’s exactly what it is. But only those who know how to fight strategically will successfully win any war.
I’ve never been in an actual war but since the beginning of time, there have been wars and battles for money, territory, freedom and anything in between. In order to win any war, you have to first be prepared for battle. You must also study your opposition to see where they are weak and what they are doing so that you can tailor your strategy to win the war.
Isn’t it amazing how we spend billions of dollars a year on military, weapons and war tactics but when it comes to our very own lives, we fail to win the wars that each one of us will have to face? I’m sure you’ve already experienced these wars that I’m referring to. The war in your mind, the war in your home growing up as a child, the war fighting for your dreams, the battles in your family, the battle on your money, the battles in your relationships and the war that your opponent has set to keep you distracted from what really matters.
There are times in our lives where you can feel like you’re surrounded by opposition. The opposition has come to discourage, distract and destroy you if you are not suited up with a strategy to fight back. Sometimes we just want to pray our way out of these wars and there are many times we are delivered from these trying circumstances. However, there are also times where you are left in those battlegrounds so that you can learn how to fight like the fabulous warrior that you are.
As a parent, you want to do any and everything to protect your child. But you also know that there will be times where you are not going to be there so you want your child to learn how to fight for themselves. I come from an age where you had to learn to fight for yourself because if I came home crying about some bully at school, I was taught to fight back and not let some bully punk me around.
Well, consider your opposition as your bully that’s trying to steal not just your lunch money, but your dreams, family, man, marriage, money and health. I’ve been in several of these wars (unknowingly), until I just recently smartened up. Everything that you see happening to you is a result of a battles that we fight in an invisible realm, there are forces of energy that take delight in seeing you miserable, defeated, worried, anxious, fearful and discouraged.
You think you’re fighting your boss, your husband, your boyfriend, your haters, your sister, your clients, your co-workers but what you are really fighting is the opposition that has been assigned to knock you out.
As I started to recognize this, I began to engage in several strategies of warfare (the most powerful of them all has been prayer but I’m going to share more about that soon). The other strategy that I’ve been applying to these battles is standing still. One of the worst things that you can do when you are in a battle is to allow your emotions to take control over your will. Once your emotions are in control, you are in danger of making some bad decisions. Your opposition knows this and will use this tactic against you if you allow it.
When you have done all that you can, that’s when sometimes you have to just let go of it all and stand still. It’s in these moments where you trust that the power that is for you is greater than the power that is against you. You’ve fought and now it’s time to let the power of faith to fight the rest of the battle for you.
This is when you trust that God is going to win the rest of the battle for you. I can’t inspire you and not be my authentic self. My faith is the only thing that I’ve had left on days where I felt like giving in completely and almost did. I know what it feels like to be pushed back into a wall and have all sorts of opposition surrounding me on all sides. Instead of being prideful, I started to humble myself and follow what I knew God was telling me to do in my heart and that’s to engage in the war that He allowed me to be in.
I’ve learned how to fight back and that’s why I want you to do the same. You are not alone and you can be easily deceived into thinking that you are. You are not the only one who is going through something tough, but you need to know that you already have the victory inside of you to win your battle. Don’t be afraid to pray and invite God into your circumstances. Choose to believe that God does love you and that He will help you. One of my problems was that I was trying to do everything in my own limited strength but I’m learning to stand still and let Him do what He promises to do.
So if you’re tired of losing your battles, and you’re stressed out or worried thinking about how you are going to make it then I encourage you to take a different approach of standing still and inviting God to fight for you. It’s working for me so I know that it will work for you.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
