by desing | Faith & Purpose
I know you haven’t heard from me the past two weeks and that’s because I did something that I haven’t done in five years. I decided to take a break which is NOT easy to do in a society that insists that we are to get our value, worth and meaning from how hard we work. We pledge our allegiance to being busy or appearing to busy because we want to feel validated, however, you were not created to be busy but to be fruitful. There’s a big difference.
You can be busy but you’re going around in circles, not really being effective. You can be busy but you’re working from a dry well in your soul and when that’s happening, there is no way that you can effectively fulfill your purpose because you’re “soul thirsty.” So in order to quench that thirst you keep doing thing after thing to prove to yourself and others that your life has meaning even though you’re not really producing any real fruit. I know this because this is exactly what I’ve constantly battled with.
Being fruitful is to be effective, and efficient by using your time to cultivate the dreams, goals, gifts, talents and abilities that you have to serve yourself and the needs of others. When you are fruitful you see the seeds of your invested time and efforts grow into fruit that you and others can benefit from.
When I started to recognize this, I realized that one of the greatest deterrents to being fruitful is the lack of peace in your life. We are in such a rush to accomplish our goals that we don’t stop to consider the environment of our minds and souls while we build the legacy that we want to leave. Many of us lack peace in our lives and are either afraid to admit it or have no idea how to manifest it. If you don’t have your peace then you are not only soul thirsty but you’re opening your mind, body and spirit to be torn apart.
So I decided to take a few weeks off to protect my peace and refresh my soul. And plus, I just wanted to take a few days to myself LOL! I had to identify my triggers for lack of peace and if you’re struggling with finding peace in your life then I want to share with you a few ways that you can get it back
- Log off of social media for a bit: This one was perhaps the silent killer that I didn’t recognize was taking a toll on my peace. Studies are proving that constant scrolling through news feeds are causing increased levels of loneliness and even depression. It’s hard NOT to compare yourself to others while you’re scrolling away and when you compare yourself, those feelings of rejection, loneliness, anxiety and fear come crawling into your soul. I suggest at least 7 days straight of no social media and trust that you’re not missing out. If you feel like you can’t do a total social media detox, then try not to check your social media first thing in the morning or the last thing at night. Use that time to pray, meditate, read, declare positive affirmations, exercise or simply be quiet with your own thoughts. Give yourself a time limit of how much you’ll spend on social media. I can promise you that as you start to focus in on you and silence all the external voices of social media, you’ll feel more at peace and even get some creative ideas.
- Know your triggers: Start to learn what sets off lack of peace, fear, worry or anxiety in your life. If one of your triggers is getting into arguments with people at work who don’t think like you then make a decision to walk away from those conversations. If one of your triggers is again, scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to others then log off for a little bit. I had to recognize certain emotions that trigger feelings of rejection and once again, I made the decision to not allow those emotions to control how I’m feeling. Get to know what triggers you and develop your strategy to combat whatever those triggers are.
- Stop being so easily offended: As women, we tend to be a little more sensitive than our male counterparts. But both men and women can become easily offended by anything. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, your boss asks you to stay an hour later, your co-worker doesn’t invite you to the after work event or someone doesn’t like what you said. These are all opportunities to be offended and when you are – you are giving your peace away. Get mentally prepared for your day by deciding that no matter what happens to you throughout the day that you will not be easily offended.
- Start thinking that you already live in peace: Believe that you’re not in bondage to fear, worry or anxiety anymore. Start to believe it in your mind first and then you can start to see it in your life. Get an index card and write down “I am filled with peace and no longer in fear, worry or anxiety. God loves me and He’ll take care of me.” Keep saying that out loud as much as you can. As I started to focus on God’s love for me then I started to experience more peace by simply changing the focus of my thoughts. Whatever you focus on, you empower to grow. So if you focus on not having peace, then that will grow but if you change your thoughts to believe that you’re already been freed from the lack of peace then you’ll experience more peace.
- Never be afraid to take a break or change your environment: If you’re in an environment that steals your peace then don’t be afraid to take a break from it. Maybe you need to book a vacation for a few days to get away from work. If you don’t have the financial capability to do so then take a few days off anyway for a “staycation.” Take a break from your business for a few days if you need to and check in with family, have a spa day or take yourself out to dinner. If you still feel anxiety or lack of peace when you go back into that environment then think of ways to make a permanent change.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
Whatever goal, vision, or dream that you’re working towards – I am sure that you have days, weeks or even months go by where you’ve experience delay, setbacks and tests. To make matters even worse, you are scrolling through Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat and it seems like everyone else is winning expect you.
Just so you know, that’s the biggest lie that is perpetrated in your mind. You are not the only one going through something tough, so refuse to be fooled by the highlights of other’s people lives that you see on social media.
One of the things that happen when you are meeting an overwhelming set of challenges on your journey is that you can start to feel defeated because happiness is normally contingent on what’s happening to you. So if you have a lot of bad things happening, you won’t feel happy. But there’s a difference between being happy and having joy. Joy is consistent and it’s rooted in something that is deeper than yourself, it’s at the very core of your spirit.
This is why I never want you to allow your circumstances to steal your joy or break your spirit. I know all too well what that feels like and it was a just a few days ago that I had to make a decision to not allow anything, anyone or any circumstances to steal my joy. What happens when you allow your joy to be stolen is that the next thing that gets killed is your faith and once your faith is killed all the other areas of your life are open to being destroyed.
Faith is the shield that you have to use to protect your dreams. You have to make the decision that no matter what happens, you are going to continue to believe wholeheartedly that whatever you are building is going to manifest. Maybe you really want to have a baby and build your family but you’re experiencing some challenges – don’t let it steal your joy or kill your faith because if you do, you’re allowing your opposing circumstances to take the opportunity of motherhood from you. Or perhaps you’re really working towards building that online business for entrepreneurial women and you haven’t had a sale in weeks, make the decision to not allow what you see steal your joy or kill your faith.
Having faith for your dreams means that you cannot allow your circumstances, what you see happening or your emotions (which are totally unreliable), to steal the possibility or belief in your heart for those very dreams to come to pass – especially if you are working diligently towards it. You can’t have faith for your goals and not put some sort of action behind them. You want to get married? Well start investing into becoming a wife by reading books on marriage, getting any counseling you need to heal any wounds in your soul and start dating with purpose. You want to become a well-renowned speaker making $10,000 per month? Start reading books on speaking, create a deck for your speaking services and work on becoming an expert in your area so that you can become a leader in your industry that is well sought after.
I want you to think of ways that you can start initiating that change that you want to see towards your vision. You have to believe first, receive it in your heart and then you will see your vision manifest. That’s the key to not allowing your circumstances to steal your joy or kill your faith. What new mindset can you apply towards the goal. It can be something as simple as deciding to get your faith back and apply that faith to your goals. Sometimes we try to come up with new strategies or action steps for achieving the goal when the true answer is actually living inside of you waiting to be tapped into.
I know some of you are fed up with going around the same mountain so I encourage you to start to initiate change inside of yourself first. Let’s make this vow together.
I will no longer allow anything, anyone or any circumstance to steal my joy. I will no longer allow what I see or a delay in my vision to kill my faith and I most certainly not allow my opposition to destroy my dreams for my family, my marriage, my health, my career or my money. I take back what is rightfully mine and choose to keep running the race until I experience victory because victory doesn’t happen by accident.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
If you ever wanted to compare the journey of success to a race, then you know that it’s not a 100-meter dash but more like a 25-mile long marathon. In New York City, we have the annual New York City marathon. There are different points in the city that you can watch the race but the overwhelming outpouring of support is at the end of the race because running a marathon is no easy fleet and neither is your success.
I’ve never ran a marathon before but I’m sure that starting the race is way easier than finishing it – just like with anything else. But then you have to keep running and keep running and keep running until you cross that finish line. I’m sure that those last few miles are perhaps the most grueling moments on your mind and your body. The only thing that keeps your body moving at the point when you feel like giving up is the training that you’ve endured to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Your muscles are aching, your feet are stinging, your throat is drier than the Sahara and your heart is pounding but you know that you’re only a mile away from the finish line so you persevere through the most intense, excruciating part of the race to cross that line. You start to recall ever strategy you learned in training and you apply them so that you finish your race with elation.
This is exactly how it is when you’re going through those tough seasons in life. It’s usually right at the end of your trying season (when things are usually getting harder) where you have to look back at what you’ve endured, what you experienced, what you learned and apply it to the end of your season so that you can finish this season with a great sound of victory.
The best way to build your character is in those challenging seasons. What is the lesson that you’ve had to learn during this challenging season? How can you start to apply that wisdom to the end of your race?
The end of your race is where you must learn to apply what you have learned. Wisdom is applied knowledge so decide how you can apply what you have learned from all the setbacks, failures, and disappointments to the end of your race. Once you do, I am fully convinced that you’ll be doing your victory dance a lot sooner than expected. You are at the end of your race and you probably don’t even know it!
Some of us keep going around the same mountain over and over again because we haven’t applied the knowledge that you’ve learned.
Consider where you want to be five years from today and ask yourself what it is that you need to stop doing or start doing in order to get there? What have you been doing that does work or that doesn’t work?
Once you decide what you need to do, then start doing it. If you need to start exercising your faith, then do it with complete confidence that what you hope for is going to happen. If you need to let go of bitterness, resentment or rage then let it go now, not tomorrow but now. Unforgiveness, bitterness, rage, and pride are some of the greatest enemies of your success. You’re carrying those negative emotions with you and they will totally block your success. If you need to need cut off your credit cards, get on a budget, get a new business partner, severe ties from unfruitful relationships, get a mentor, move into a new environment or change jobs then do it now.
It’s time to start applying what you’ve learned because you’re at the end of your race. You can tell that you’re almost there because the pressure gets thicker. The pressure has come to challenge you to fight back with what you’ve learned so that you can win!
Apply the knowledge girl!
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
When most of us think of “payday”, we associate it with the day of the week that we get paid from our respective place of employment. I was listening to Joyce Meyer talk about a different kind of payday that we all should be looking forward to.
One thing I know for sure is that if you’re building your dreams, your family, your health, your financial freedom or new relationships then you are going to experience all sorts of opposition. When you experience that opposition, you can become discouraged, offended and even start to question whether or not all the pain and frustration is worth it.
You’ve cried yourself to sleep countless nights, you’ve looked at your bank account time and time again and it’s not enough, you’ve pitched your coaching services to numerous potential clients for nothing to avail, you’ve sent out dozens of resumes looking for that new job and you’re still stuck at the same place you were a year ago.
I want you to know that payday is coming for you. You’ve paid your dues in tears, sweat, blood, frustration, hard work, determination, heartache and perseverance and now it’s time for you to paid back all that you’ve lost and invested.
Now is not the time for you to give up, quit or give in. You are about to experience that breakthrough of all breakthroughs. Most people give up right before the breakthrough happens. This is the time to dig your heels in and focus on the rewards that are waiting for you. Just because you’re experiencing opposition doesn’t mean that you’re not where you are supposed to be.
We tend to want to run away from challenges because in our minds we reason that if we’re experiencing challenges that then we must be doing something wrong. We fail to see that it’s in those very circumstances that we’re being purified; our characters are being developed so that we can effectively fulfill the purpose that has already been predestined for us.
The challenge is to really believe that your payday is coming. If you think your payday is never going to come then it will not. If you believe that things are never going to change then they won’t. Payday for some of you is literally days away.
Something new is going happen and the former things that you have experienced are going to pass away. When you’re experiencing your challenges, remember that “this too shall pass.” The darkest time at night is right before daybreak. Do you believe that your daybreak is coming?
Start getting ready for the payday. Don’t wait until you “have” it to start acting like it’s happen. Believe that it’s already happened and you’re going send out powerful shockwaves of positive energy that will attract what you desire towards you. Your thoughts become living things.
I had a panel during our Embrace Her Legacy Academy last week and we kept talking about “staying ready.” I was so inspired by our panelists that I updated several of my marketing materials over the weekend. Would you believe that as soon as I finished updating my files, I “randomly” received a message on Facebook by someone who was seeking out my services and he asked if I had any marketing materials to send his way? He had them in his inbox in less than 5 minutes.
That was no coincidence! Imagine if I would have waited to “have” the opportunities until I got prepared?
Always be prepared and put whatever needs to be put in place in order to have the “bank account” to receive the “funds” of your payday. Don’t get ready, stay ready because your payday is coming!!!!
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
by desing | Faith & Purpose
The other day I had a thought. I asked myself, “What if tomorrow is the day that everything I’ve been praying, hoping and working for finally happened? What if tomorrow is the day where everything turns around in my favor?” My immediate response was overwhelming joy, elation, excitement which quickly subsided the thoughts of worry, fear and frustration.
At that moment, I decided to believe that tomorrow was the day and even if it didn’t happen that it would happen the next day. What I started to do is wholeheartedly expect, trust and have confidence that everything I’m working towards is moments away. I act like it, talk like it and believe like it.
As I started taking this approach, the load felt lighter and my faith was strengthened.
A lot of us are thinking that our big breakthrough is years away but what if it’s’ not? Having faith for those big hopes, dreams and desires (especially when you’re working towards them diligently) is now. Faith is not next week or soon or one day, faith is now. Anyone can expect things to turn around in the future but are you expecting things to start turning around now? Do you believe that at this very moment things are being shifted in your favor.
Why are you working, praying and hoping so hard if you don’t believe that at any moment your breakthrough may happen?
The promotion, the dream client, the overflow of new customers, the restored relationship, the call from your estranged brother, the email from the OWN network, the healing of your loved one’s body, the corner office, the $10,000 per day sales can literally be one day away.
This is more than just positive thinking; this is believing from the depths of your soul that everything is going to work out for you in the end. Yes, we must all endure a process but some of us have been in that process for years now and that moment that you’ve been waiting for is far closer than you think.
This is not the time to give into discouragement or quit. As I’ve mentioned before that discouragement leaves you open to experience other negative emotions like despair, depression and hopelessness. Each one of these emotions is trying to steal your faith, hope and expectation.
Stand up to the nonsense; tell yourself that enough is enough! Wake up every morning believing that this is the day it all turns around in your favor and even if it doesn’t, believe that tomorrow it will. You keep having that bold expectation that your greatest hopes, dreams and desires are literally a few hours away.
You’ll find yourself experiencing so much joy, peace, and laughter. We all could use a little more of that in our lives, right?
I understand that failed expectations can lead to disappointment. However, it’s all in how you choose to view it in your mindset. Keep believing that every last thing you experience, even those disappointments are setting you up to get another step closer to your destiny!
Speak it out loud every morning if you have to. Write it down on a Post It and put in your mirror so that you declare to yourself that this is your day!
Declare it, believe it and I know that you will see it – remove the limitations and start believing that tomorrow could be the day that it all turns around in your favor.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
