The World Needs You to Be You

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Nowadays, we are constantly being bombarded with messages telling us what to wear, what to drive, what job to have, where to bank or what to buy. With social media, those messages are being proliferated at such a rapid pace that it can be challenging to figure out who you are and love yourself exactly for who you are and who you aren’t.

Society and social media is one thing but it can be painful when those closest to you don’t accept you or better yet, want you to change to fit a mold that they want you to have for your life. You may be on a quest to be the first in your family to break the mold. Because your loved ones don’t understand, they reject the idea, tell you to do something “safe” or ask you questions like, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

You’re not alone. I come from a Latino household where success looks only one way. It’s to get a good, safe job with benefits, make sure to collect a paycheck every two weeks and the only season to look forward to is income tax refund time. I come from a world where living on purpose isn’t encouraged, it’s actually frowned upon.

I struggled for years before I decided to pursue my purpose because I was paralyzed by the fear of their rejection. But then I realized that what I have been called for, I have been gifted for and so are you!

People will impose their own fears and lack of understanding onto you and you must be aware of when that’s happening. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself living to please the opinion of others. In this life, you can’t make everyone happy all the time. The only happiness that matters is yours.

Lies tell us that we’re not good enough to pursue the life we truly yearn for. We then compare our lives to our counterparts and what we begin to feel are another set of lying thoughts that usually go a little something like –

“I don’t come from much. How can I ever make this happen?”
“I’m not as gifted as she is, there’s no way I can do that.”
“____________ wants me to become a doctor because of the safe income, so that’s what I’m going to be.”
“I’m not as beautiful as she is, so there’s no way I can find a good man and get married. Besides, all men are no good anyway.”

All of these thoughts are rooted in internal fears like the fear of rejection, the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown.  If you’re not careful, you’ll allow these fears to deceive you from becoming who you have been called to be and from doing what you have been created to do.

You were created with a purpose and you have your own talents, gifts and abilities. I cannot do what you’ve been called to do; only you can. Think about that – only you can do what you have been called to do, no one else!

I know it can be painful to go outside the box and pursue what makes you happy when loved ones don’t understand but it’s your life and not theirs. You have to garner the courage to go after what makes sense for you because only you can do what you can do. The world is waiting for you to step into your purpose!

Some people will never understand and that’s fine. Their opinion of you shouldn’t change your opinion of yourself. Trust that when it’s time for them to understand they will.

As for now, focus all your energy on you and not them.
XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

When Your Life Lacks Vision

by desing | Faith & Purpose

What happens when you life lacks vision? Well, when your life lacks vision, purpose or meaning you will try to fill the void with pleasures. Sooner or later the pleasures will never be enough and you’ll find yourself chasing a high that was meant to be fulfilled within you, not outside of yourself.

We can easily fall for this trap as I know I did for many years. While working in the music business at a major record label a few years ago, I was constantly trying to satisfy my unfulfilled soul with all sorts of pleasures to help me cope with being miserable at the job I dreamed of as a child.

I went on vacations, bought the designer shoes, ate the expensive dinners and drank the bottles of wine but yet I was still unhappy. Why? Because I knew I was not living in my purpose.

It took years for me to recognize my dysfunction. Along with that I was paralyzed by fear which kept me seeking all the pleasures in the world when the key to unlock my fulfillment was right inside of me all along.

You have a purpose that’s waiting to be discovered. When you’re using your natural gifts, talents and abilities to serve a human need then you are living in your purpose.

Too many of us are hiding behind vacations, job titles, relationships and a nice Instagram account when you know that deep down inside there is something else in life that you want to pursue. But if you lack vision, then trying to realize that dream is like trying to follow a parked car. Everyone wants to be “happy” but you have to discover what that means to you, get specific about it and pursue your goals.

When you lack vision, your future will be foggy and life will pass you by. When you’re living your life for pleasure, you’ll always be looking for your next high. You cannot live a life based on pleasure and expect fulfillment.

Ask yourself this question –

“What story do I want my life to tell?” Think about your life in 35 years, what story do you want to tell your children and grandchildren? Once you figure out what you want your story to be then you can start to have a vision of where you want your life to go. Once you have the vision, then you can begin to make decisions now to write out that story.

Do you want your story to be one of faith, perseverance and purpose? Do you want a story of integrity? Do you want a story filled with lies? Don’t you want to be able to tell your entire story without skipping any parts? Do you want your story to be rooted in love? Do you want to have the story where you decided to make a change and made it happen? Do you want to be “the first” to do it in your family? What will be the meaning or the inspiration in your story?

Vacations pass. Clothes fade away. Money comes and goes. But there is an unstoppable magic that unfolds when a woman has a vision and a relentless drive to live in her purpose. That woman is YOU!

What will your story be?
XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Where Are Your Mice Coming From?

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Over the weekend I had the honor of hosting our 3^rd Annual Day of the Girl Summit! It’s such a fulfillment to live in purpose and to be able to influence the minds of young women who may struggle with confidence.

Many of the ladies that I work with are brilliant, Ivy League bound girls but who all find themselves struggling to believe in themselves or struggle to understand the power in their voice. I see myself in all the girls because I know far too well what it feels like to believe that you’re just not good enough.

The great thing about them is that they’re learning the tools needed to overcome low confidence and embrace a high self worth at young age, whereas most of us don’t really learn those vital lessons on self-worth until later on in our lives.

It was in my mid-twenties where I started to recognize that I had unresolved issues rooted in low self-worth. Instead of continuing to wear my mask, I did some digging in order to find out why I never felt good enough. I was tired of masking it with a good job, my education and my financial status because none of that left me permanently secure.

What I had to do was find out where my mice were coming from. Let me explain.

When you have low self-worth the key to resolving it once and for all is to find out where your mice are coming from.  If you have ever had mice then you know that what we tend to do is set down mice traps or rat poisoning to capture and kill the mice. However, those tactics are only temporary because the mice always find a way to come back into the home and it’s never just one mouse, they always find a way back in. The key to getting completely rid of the mice is to find out where they are coming from and deal with it or else Mickey, Minnie and friends will make your humble abode their new home.

Same idea with low self-worth. If you do not deal with your low-self worth from the root and find out where the problem is stemming from then you’re only trapping the mice, you’re not preventing them from coming in. When you put on the mask as if you got it all together, you’re just covering up the dead mice in your home and eventually those mice will leave a stench.

Low self-worth breeds insecurity and is often rooted in fear. It can be the fear of rejection, the fear of being alone, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of being misunderstood or other internal fears that are those imagined fears that play out in our minds.  I need you to identify your fears and replace that fear with love. The love of all of you.

When I got rid of my mice, I realized that my low self-worth was rooted in the fear of rejection and the need of approval. My worth was based on the opinions others had of me because I didn’t have the best opinion of myself. Once I discovered that, I was able to effectively deal with my low self-worth and transform into a woman of high self-worth.

No one else’s opinion of you should change your opinion of yourself. It took me a while to get there and I still experience challenges just like you do but now I can do something about it and deal with my mice from the entrance.

I have God’s approval no matter what I do and so do you. Once I began to embrace His eternal love for me, I was able to embrace the love for myself. It has been a journey but I want you to know that you too can take back the power that any low self-worth has had over you.

Find out where your mice are coming from and deal with it. You were fearfully and wonderfully made and it’s time to take off any mask, accept responsibility for where you are and become the woman you have been called to be!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Master Your Thoughts, Don’t Let Them Master You

by desing | Faith & Purpose

If you could replay your thoughts for the last 24 hours on a television screen, what would you see? I would easily be able to tell if you were on the right track because the quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.

I’ve emphasized taking control over your thoughts several times before but it’s not something that you do one time and you’re “fixed.” Renewing the way you think is a daily practice. Changing the way you think is not an event but a process.

Our thoughts are easily influenced by our circumstances, what we see happening around us and the opinions of others. What you may feel is “keeping it real” is nothing more than an ingrained, conditioned way of thinking that has been set-up to keep you from thriving in your purpose.

The only way that you are going to successfully achieve your dreams is by becoming exceptional in your thinking and attitude. Being exceptional means to do something extraordinarily well, therefore, it’s time to evict any thoughts that are less than exceptional from occupying space in your mind.

Your moods and your attitudes are directly influenced by your thoughts. Your thoughts dictate your words, your words dictate your actions and your actions dictate your destiny. When you begin to become exceptional in your thinking then you will begin to see your destiny unveil itself. Even if things don’t change overnight, your exceptional attitude will give you a fresh perspective over your current condition because all storms will eventually come to an end.

When you’re exceptional in your thinking you don’t think according to what may have happened to someone else. The key word in exceptional is “except.” So when you become exceptional in your thinking, you think in terms of being the exception to the rule. When you are thinking like that, you are thinking the way God intended you to think. You are thinking with faith not fear. If cancer runs in your family or if everyone around you is living in poverty, an exceptional thinker thinks, “Although it happened to all of them, it will not happen to me.” If you’re surrounded by co-workers who only see their current job as the end all, be all of success – an exceptional thinker thinks “I will not stay in this pit because I know I was created to thrive not just exist.”

You’ve got to get your thoughts to work for you instead of you being a slave to them. You own them, they don’t own you! Stop allowing your emotions to control you and become an exceptional thinker.

Exceptional thinkers are not easily swayed by what they see. An exceptional thinker understands that no matter what you see, your circumstances can change in one moment. An exceptional thinker knows that God is always working on your behalf and even when things may not work out the way you hoped, you know for a fact that all things are working together for your good.

An exceptional thinker doesn’t think the answer to your prayer is years away but believes that God not only hears your cry but will give you more than you could ever ask for or imagine.

An exceptional woman understands that if you are around ordinary thinkers for too long, your “exceptionalism” will soon clash with their ordinary thinking. When you begin to experience that, understand that you’re not better than anyone else but you’re exceptional in your thinking and they haven’t gotten there yet. Try to encourage others to master their mindset but if they choose not to then it’s not your job to change that.

Ordinary thinking produces ordinary results, exceptional thinking produces exceptional results. Be exceptional!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy