Who’s On Your Board of Counsel?

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of being selective of who I share my goals with for various reasons and along with that, I am especially selective of when I choose to tell them. For the most part, I do it to protect myself because sometimes ideas can be too premature to share with the world and the fears of others can be projected onto our visions which can lead to us feeling insecure or inadequate to move forward with birthing the vision.

Has that ever happened to you?

Now, I have loosened up a little bit in this department but I still proceed with caution. If you’re goal-driven and have big dreams that you are in pursuit of then you know that our dreams become almost like our babies, making it natural to become overprotective of them. But have you ever had a time where you knew you could not solve a problem on your own or you knew that it was best to seek wise counsel but you did not?

Usually what holds us back from seeking advice or sound wisdom is pride because anything that reminds us of an inadequacy we have, we will naturally tend to dismiss. If you look back at your life and look at your biggest mistakes or biggest regrets, I can almost guarantee that there was someone in your life who saw it coming. Perhaps it was a relationship that you had absolutely no business being in, a job offer that you should have denied, multitude of nights of heavy drinking or a school that you should have gone to. Whoever did see your error, probably did not tell you because they figured that you wouldn’t listen or perhaps they did tell you and you did exactly as they thought.

Of course we learn from our mistakes and all things will work out for our good in the end, but why is that we can see the faults in the lives of others but can never seem to see them in our own?

Often, our emotions can fog our judgment and due to our pride, it can be very difficult and humbling to seek the wise counsel of others. Once you do seek their advice, they are probably going to say what you already know is for your best but you just do not want to hear.

I know I am not the only one who has been there before!

Well, it’s time to put on your “big girl” panties and seek wisdom where you need to. Maybe you need to talk to some people about decisions in your career or your relationships or your business or your family or your finances or your mental health.  Isolation is the tool of the enemy because we do not grow in isolation, we grow in community. It’s pertinent to our personal development that we surround ourselves with people who we can discuss important matters with who are going to give us wise, just, fair and honest wisdom. I understand that experience is our greatest teacher but remember that growing old is mandatory, growing wise in optional.

Have people in your life who you can seek wisdom from for different matters. If you need financial advice, speak to someone who is financially savvy. If you need relationship advice, speak to someone who is in a healthy relationship. If you need business advice, speak to someone who has a thriving business.

We need to have people in our lives who will hold us accountable and we need to be that friend, mentor, professional relationship or colleague who will also hold others accountable. Hearing only your voice, all of the time, can lead to some mistakes that could have been avoided.

I’m not telling you to seek counsel on every decision in life as certain choices are best if kept silent. However, it’s time to have a personal board of directors or board of counsel who you can call on who will tell it like it is in a loving way. Don’t be afraid to switch up who you speak to as well. If you only have two friends that you discuss all of your issues with, try to develop relationships with new people who you gain a fresh perspective from.

At the end of it all, it will ultimately be your decision but we have to understand that no one succeeds all alone, everyone has a team in the background that has encouraged them to push through even when the going got tough.

Who will choose to be on your board of counsel?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Braving Your Storm (Video Post)

by desing | Faith & Purpose

If you are anywhere in the New York tri-state area or in the Northeast region of the US, then you are probably caught in a knee-deep amount of snow – braving this blizzard. Hopefully you’re sipping on some hot chocolate and catching up on some TV as you read this as I know that I am as well.

When I started thinking about this week’s post, I knew that it was no coincidence that I wanted to address the inevitable storms of life and all of a sudden we were being forecast one of this winter’s most vicious winter storms.

“Hmm…this is interesting.” I thought.

Each and every one of us will eventually come across a particular season in our life where it seems like “all hell has broken loose.” You may lose a job, lose a loved one, undergo a bad break up, suddenly fall ill, experience extreme financial lack or have an emotionally rough patch in life. It’s in those hours where we can feel forgotten about, lonely, frustrated, angry, confused and even resentful.

How do I know? Because I have been there before.

I used to fear the storms of life and even when things would be going well, I would have nagging thoughts telling me that something unfortunate had to happen because things were too good to be true.

As I have matured these past few years and have experienced (and still experience) those nasty storms of life, I have learned that eventually all storms will pass. The storm we are currently experiencing in the Northeast will eventually fade away and we will continue on with our lives. Although the storm may bring the nuisances of digging your car out of the snow, backed up traffic, delayed commute time to work or shoveling the snow in the front of your home, you know that sooner or later the snow will melt and you will move on with life.

When a snowstorm comes, we do not give up on life, we just wait for the storm to pass assured that we are prepared and enjoy the days off inside of the house. Perhaps we may even take advantage of the time indoors by taking up some household projects, starting that vision board, working on the latest arts and craft project with your kids, or finishing that new book.

Therefore, if you are experiencing a storm of your own, maybe you can do something to take your mind off of your storm and focus on something else trusting that your storm will soon pass. We may not always understand the storms of life but we cannot allow them to knock us out and even if they do, we must always get back up.

Are you facing a storm, waiting for it to pass? Here’s what you can begin to do to make the “waiting time” pass a little faster:

• Be a blessing to someone else. If you have do not have money, then give your time. Take the time to treat someone to a dinner or take your girlfriend’s children for a few hours so she can have some alone time.
• Know that your storm is preparing you to tell someone else “I’ve been there before.” How encouraging it is to know that you can guide someone through their difficult time later down the line.
• Understand that you are NOT alone. I know that it can feel as though no one understands you and that you are alone in your struggle but that is far from the truth. God is ALWAYS with you and He will never leave you, if He has not removed you from the storm then trust that He will give you the strength to get through it. I have learned that God’s grace is more than sufficient.
• Get out of your rut and call somebody. Who can you call for a fun night out? Sometimes it does not have to be a night out; maybe you invite some folks over for dinner, wine and chit chat.
• Take the limits off of God – remember that He can do the impossible. Instead of telling God about your problem, tell your problem about God. God responds to your faith, not necessarily your need. Have faith in his limitless power and His timing.
• Keep telling yourself “This too shall pass” and make the choice to be happy in spite of your circumstances. There is no need to feel as though you cannot be happy until you’ve reached the end of your storm. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

You are beautiful, strong and worthy so trust your journey. Now, will you choose to dance in the rain, or in this case, the snow?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy