by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools
I don’t know about you but I am still gagging over this year’s Oscars! I’m not usually into the Oscars because the show can be a little drawn out and even more boring. But of course, I watch to see who’s wearing what.
This year was different. I was glued to the show after hearing Jared Leto’s tear-jerking acceptance speech honoring his mother who was a teenage, single mom who encouraged her children to dream.
Not to mention, I’m a sucker for anything that is inspirational. I love seeing underdogs come onto the scene and live their dream. So I had to see if my girl Lupita Nyong’o would take home the Oscar for her groundbreaking role in 12 Years A Slave…which she did. Along with looking like THE Goddess of the Universe, she eloquently stated that “No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.” And…cue my tears of joy for her!
And perhaps one of my other favorite moments was Matthew McConaughey’s pure-hearted, motivational acceptance speech talking about how he has always had something to look up to, something to look forward to and something to chase. I loved that his “something to chase” would always be himself 10 years from now!
So what’s all this talk about the Oscars leading up to? A few things actually.
One is that people WANT to be inspired. People resonate with people who have stories of overcoming obstacles to make their dreams come true. When you have your “Oscar moment”, you have the power to share your story and inspire others. Jared, Lupita and Matthew were all in your position at one point and they kept on dreaming.
Let me say this. That is NOT easy. It is not easy to go against the grain and set out on your dreams in a world that may not always understand why you’re choosing courage over comfort. We see these “Oscar moments” and forget to think that that moment is a representation of years of preparation, setbacks, wins and losses.
Your dreams are valid and you have to have something to look up to, to look forward to and something to chase. What are you looking up to, what are you looking forward to, what are you chasing? If you’re not is it because you are being lead to believe that your dreams aren’t valid? Well, no mas. It is time to get down and dirty in fulfilling your dreams.
You are worthy of your “Oscar moment”, when all the lights are on you and your achievements are being recognized. Remember that on your journey to get there, you will have plenty of highs and lows but they are all preparing you for your moment. Not only are they preparing you, you will then be in a position to share your journey to inspire maybe millions of others to chase their “Oscar moment.” This is the core, the essence, the magic inside of your legacy. Embrace it!
by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools
While training the department’s interns (during my time working at Warner Music Group), I would always lead with “Get a
notebook, write everything down and make it your best friend.” Of course that came from me getting a little tired of
repeating the same answers to the same questions, but knowing that my trainees would be a reflection of myself, I wanted to
make sure that interns would be able to successfully perform any task without my supervision. I wanted them to use the
notebook and their notes as a framework to excel throughout the course of their internship without me holding their hand.
If you’ve been following me, you know that I practice every thing I preach and every time I share words of wisdom, it’s
because I have experienced it myself. And there is nothing different here.
I started my professional career as an intern at Atlantic Records. When I initially started my internship, I was scared to
pieces every day about hanging up on Jay-Z every time he called and praying not to hang up on Kevin Liles when he asked to
be transfered to another office. Not to mention, I had plenty of times where I had to order lunches for high-profile
clients and executives on a daily. The last thing I wanted to do was forget the “medium-rare” on one of these folks’ filet
mignon, or forget that Mr. Carter doesn’t eat pork or forget those 10 orders of sweet-tea lemonade. (I’ve seen what can
happen if a sweet tea lemonade was short, it’s like they had secret powers and forgetting one was almost suicide to your
success in the department…but I digress.)
So you can guess that I began to faithfully write everything down. Every time I was called into a meeting, I would run over
with notebook in hand. Ready for murder. My pen and notebook became my secret weapon, and essentially my best friend. I
soon became THE intern of choice to handle whatever they threw at me.
The funny thing is that for the first time in my life, I was also doing a lot of personal development. I was reading books
like Laws of Thinking and Thinking For a Change. I was becoming someone I liked and unknowingly using my gifts to get me there. I was learning so much about myself and meeting new people who dropped countless jewels of wisdom that I began
writing every thing down in that area of my life. I had a notebook for my personal growth and another for my professional
development and each were in my bag every day as I commuted from Long Island back into the city.
This actually started something that has helped me grow in my person, calling, relationships, purpose, career and faith
that I never actually noticed until the other day and I want to share it with you.
Til this day, I keep two notebooks in which of course I write every thing down. I use one book strictly for personal
growth. That notebook that has all my notes from pastors and thought-leaders who I look to for guidance and provide a
framework for living my best life. I use this notebook to also journal and write down things I’m grateful for. It’s really
a notebook of reflection and growth. This is what I use to become the person before doing the call.
The other notebook is focused on business and professional objectives only. My weekly objectives for Embrace Her Legacy are
planned out in this notebook. When I brainstorm new ideas for EHL, this is the book I use. When I take notes from a webinar
or professional event, this is the book I use.
My point in all this is to encourage you to get (2) notebooks and do the same. Having these two best friends provide focus
and clarity. When I’m “in” one notebook, I know what I should be focused on. Sometimes we have great intentions in writing
things down, but we also have to have clarity and order in order to successfully live the life we envision. Another thing
to note is that you get to see your progress. I have so many notebooks so I when I look through them I see so much growth
and I feel accomplished over how far I’ve come. You never know…maybe one day your notebooks can be used to write a book
one day. I’m just saying…get these two friends now. They’ll always be there waiting to for you to pour your heart and
dreams to them anytime!
P.S. Those are really my notebooks you see pictured above and my vision board photo bombing in the back.If you have any questions about your what your (2) notebooks of living in purpose, please feel free to ask me here!
![Meet The Cast of “The UnMasked Effect”!]()
by desing | Our Legacy, Our Media, Tools
Many of you may be wondering how the idea of “The UnMasked Effect” came about. Before I start to tell you, I want you to know that everything I do is usually motivated by something I have experienced, encountered and want to share in order to motivate, empower and inspire you.
I am a firm believer that in order to ignite change, you have to first become the change that you want to see. I had a moment last year when I knew I had to be willing to share my story (my whole story, not just the sweet moments) in order to really impact other women. Truth is that I was dealing with feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy because I didn’t have the resources or lifestyle as other women who were successful in this world of empowering women. I felt ashamed saying that I was from and still do live in East New York, Brooklyn because that wouldn’t resonate as “success” with others. I kept thinking thought like, “What is this girl from Brooklyn know about helping others live on purpose…I’m still trying to make it myself!” Nevertheless, I would be a fraud if I would tell others to embrace their story, honor their truths and me not follow suit. No ma’am…I will always choose courage over comfort.
So I started allowing myself to become more vulnerable with my winning circle of influence, which includes a STELLAR group of powerful, professional women. And I noticed something…I was not alone. We were all carrying feelings of inadequacy to fulfill our life-long dreams or shame from our pasts or fears of failure and success! I knew I had to do something about it and make it OK for us to share our stories because essentially we inspire others to do the same. It’s about triumphing over all the “stuff”; what you hold in secret has power over you.
That’s when my girl Cordelia Abrokwah (leadership and youth empowerment coach) and I hooked up for our occasional “superpower” dinner. The dinner is essentially us women who get together to eat, share, encourage, inspire, giggle, joke and say all things that we wouldn’t really post on Facebook if you get my drift. Cordelia begins to share this incredible exercise she proctored with a group of teenage girls, involving a mask and a mirror. (I will not give away details because we all partake in the exercise in the series which you’ll have to watch to see!) What I will share that it usually ends up with women in tears and declaring worthiness and hope for the future.
My immediate response was that we HAVE to do something like that with older, professional women. I went into brainstorming mode and out came “The UnMasked Effect.” Embrace Her Legacy executively produced a conversation of group of women to discuss their fears, price of success, vulnerabilities, beauty, confidence, self-worth, and survivor stories. Each lady came in, not really knowing what to expect but when I say we broke chains of inadequacy, cried, and laughed by the end of the day. I’m hoping you can relate to these real women, talking real issues. If you haven’t watch the trailer, please watch it here!! And make sure you watch the double-header premiere of the series on Wed. March 26th at 8pm EST via our YouTube Channel.
Maria I. Melendez: Founder & CEO, Embrace Her Legacy
Yes, I’m founder and Chief Executive Officer of Embrace Her Legacy and executive producer of this series but you get to learn me in another way throughout the series. People assume that because I’m featured in magazines and “doing my thing” that I don’t deal with fear. That couldn’t be any less true. You’ll get to see exactly what makes me feel “less than” and the real reason that makes me relentless when it comes to helping others live in purpose and define their legacy.
Cordelia Abrokwah: Founder & CEO, The Catalyst Group
As host and overall “mama” of the conversation, Cordelia really challenges each girl to take it there. She is really the person you call when you need to be reminded of just how great you are. Her jewels of wisdom, motivational words and passionate desire to help each woman not only remove her mask but recognize she’s been wearing one is showcased all throughout the series. But don’t be fooled either, she too shares her fears of overcoming past insecurities and the ability to successfully achieve her God given vision.
Shameika Bowman: Professional Make-Up Artist, Co-Founder of Poised With Purpose
Your face is surely her canvas. Shameika is an extraordinary, faith-filled make-up artist who works can be seen in countless magazines, videos and celebs. She’s not only about transforming faces but transforming lives. What you’ll learn about her is her idea on beauty and what she thinks really makes a woman beautiful. Another entrepreneur on the panel, who also shares the pressure of a perceived level of success where she is expected to have it all together all of the time. Courageously, she discusses her “evil twin” fears that she deals with on a daily basis.
Dana Johnson: Co-Founder, doBrasilshop.com
A woman that will make you smile the moment you meet her. Dana is a smart businesswoman, dancer, fashion-lover whose magnetic personality can light up a room. What we learn most about in Dana is the challenged idea of beauty and feeling beautiful. And although she doesn’t fear stepping out to launch her business doBrasilshop.com, you will learn about her fears of getting her “Claire Huxtable” moment.
Gena Camarena: Former Promotions Coordinator, Atlantic Records
Other will look at Gena and think “Girl, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about!” As an heir to a multi-million dollar empire, Gena confronts pressures that force us not to judge others. Although grateful for her upbringing and education, she shares her fears of failure when already given a platform to succeed while learning that asking for help doesn’t always equal being in debt to someone else.
Jasmine Belotte: Co-Founder, Poised With Purpose
An attitude reformed woman! I have to say that when Jasmine shared that she used to have a very bad attitude problem, I gasped in surprise because she is one of the kindest people I’ve met! Overcoming an attitude problem and feeling the need of approval of others, Jasmine comes out refreshed, renewed and revitalized to fully take on her latest endeavor of launching her and Shameika’s women empowerment company, Poised With Purpose.
Melanie Clarke: Social Media Coordinator, IMAN Cosmetics
A social media coordinator for IMAN Cosmetics with a burning desire for all things fashion and style, Melanie unveils her personal challenges of actually pursing her life-long passion of the fashion industry. As the oldest of six siblings, she is learning to balance being a great example for her siblings while on her journey to achieve true peace and joy with her life. She is stepping out on her own to become the woman she wants to be.
Quincy Mays: Aspiring Entrepreneur
The survivor. If you want to know of what, then you’ll have to watch and see. Quincy defines courage when she shares her incredible journey as a survivor. She may not fear going to Hawaii alone or sky-diving but her fears are more internal where she is learning to come out of her shell to pursue her life’s passion and purpose of becoming an entrepreneur. We see her go from a woman who normally reaches inward when in a group of women become inspirational in honoring her truth.
by desing | Classes, Faith & Purpose, Tools
In case you missed our special treat that we shared on Facebook earlier this week, make sure you check it out here.
I am really learning that the true battlefield in this life is not in the world but it’s actually inside of our minds. Every action begins in thought form and I am also learning that every negative emotion is usually traced back to a negative thought that ignited that emotion.
C’mon I know that I’m not the only one here. Let’s say you scroll through your social media news feed and you see someone sharing a major accomplishment and you think that you could never get to your major goals because of (lack of resources, lack of confidence, and the list keeps going.) Next thing you know, you’re throwing a pity party for yourself. Or you see someone’s happy marriage and you think about those last few dates you’ve been on and think that a happy, loving relationship may not be something you’ll experience in this lifetime and in turn settle for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. You know good and well you deserve better but you begin to think I could never have “that.”
And “that” is the ultimate “no no” in life. The “that” I am referring to is comparing yourself to someone else. Many of us do and although we may never admit it, I’m pretty sure each one of has done so at some point in our lives.
We compare our relationships, body images, careers, financial status, personal style, spiritual lifestyles, and children as if what we have is not good enough. The truth of the matter is that you already have EVERYTHING that you will need to fulfill your purpose over your life.
So what if your competitors have more resources and more perceived success. So what if your Facebook Fan page has 500 followers and your competitor has 200,000. So what if someone doesn’t like your product or service or someone doesn’t agree with what you’re doing. (Not everyone will like you or what you have to offer so that’s something that you better start getting used to). It’s time to get over it and instead of focusing on them and focus on what you CAN do.
One of the most powerful weapons of self-destruction is comparing ourselves to one another. It’s really a slap in the face to God (yes, I believe in God). He is the one who created you, we were each divinely create for a purpose that He had planned way before we were even born. Every time you look to someone else and compare yourself to her or him, you are telling God that what He majestically, divinely, beautifully made isn’t enough. And, you never know what someone had to go through to get where they are.
What’s meant to be yours in this world will be. Those who are meant to follow you, will. Those who are meant to join you on your journey will meet you where you are. Think about that the next time you want to “be like” someone else.
by desing | Our Legacy, Our Media
WATCH IT NOW!
Check out this R&B star on the rise give us a special shout out!
