Who’s On Your Board of Counsel?

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of being selective of who I share my goals with for various reasons and along with that, I am especially selective of when I choose to tell them. For the most part, I do it to protect myself because sometimes ideas can be too premature to share with the world and the fears of others can be projected onto our visions which can lead to us feeling insecure or inadequate to move forward with birthing the vision.

Has that ever happened to you?

Now, I have loosened up a little bit in this department but I still proceed with caution. If you’re goal-driven and have big dreams that you are in pursuit of then you know that our dreams become almost like our babies, making it natural to become overprotective of them. But have you ever had a time where you knew you could not solve a problem on your own or you knew that it was best to seek wise counsel but you did not?

Usually what holds us back from seeking advice or sound wisdom is pride because anything that reminds us of an inadequacy we have, we will naturally tend to dismiss. If you look back at your life and look at your biggest mistakes or biggest regrets, I can almost guarantee that there was someone in your life who saw it coming. Perhaps it was a relationship that you had absolutely no business being in, a job offer that you should have denied, multitude of nights of heavy drinking or a school that you should have gone to. Whoever did see your error, probably did not tell you because they figured that you wouldn’t listen or perhaps they did tell you and you did exactly as they thought.

Of course we learn from our mistakes and all things will work out for our good in the end, but why is that we can see the faults in the lives of others but can never seem to see them in our own?

Often, our emotions can fog our judgment and due to our pride, it can be very difficult and humbling to seek the wise counsel of others. Once you do seek their advice, they are probably going to say what you already know is for your best but you just do not want to hear.

I know I am not the only one who has been there before!

Well, it’s time to put on your “big girl” panties and seek wisdom where you need to. Maybe you need to talk to some people about decisions in your career or your relationships or your business or your family or your finances or your mental health.  Isolation is the tool of the enemy because we do not grow in isolation, we grow in community. It’s pertinent to our personal development that we surround ourselves with people who we can discuss important matters with who are going to give us wise, just, fair and honest wisdom. I understand that experience is our greatest teacher but remember that growing old is mandatory, growing wise in optional.

Have people in your life who you can seek wisdom from for different matters. If you need financial advice, speak to someone who is financially savvy. If you need relationship advice, speak to someone who is in a healthy relationship. If you need business advice, speak to someone who has a thriving business.

We need to have people in our lives who will hold us accountable and we need to be that friend, mentor, professional relationship or colleague who will also hold others accountable. Hearing only your voice, all of the time, can lead to some mistakes that could have been avoided.

I’m not telling you to seek counsel on every decision in life as certain choices are best if kept silent. However, it’s time to have a personal board of directors or board of counsel who you can call on who will tell it like it is in a loving way. Don’t be afraid to switch up who you speak to as well. If you only have two friends that you discuss all of your issues with, try to develop relationships with new people who you gain a fresh perspective from.

At the end of it all, it will ultimately be your decision but we have to understand that no one succeeds all alone, everyone has a team in the background that has encouraged them to push through even when the going got tough.

Who will choose to be on your board of counsel?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Braving Your Storm (Video Post)

by desing | Faith & Purpose

If you are anywhere in the New York tri-state area or in the Northeast region of the US, then you are probably caught in a knee-deep amount of snow – braving this blizzard. Hopefully you’re sipping on some hot chocolate and catching up on some TV as you read this as I know that I am as well.

When I started thinking about this week’s post, I knew that it was no coincidence that I wanted to address the inevitable storms of life and all of a sudden we were being forecast one of this winter’s most vicious winter storms.

“Hmm…this is interesting.” I thought.

Each and every one of us will eventually come across a particular season in our life where it seems like “all hell has broken loose.” You may lose a job, lose a loved one, undergo a bad break up, suddenly fall ill, experience extreme financial lack or have an emotionally rough patch in life. It’s in those hours where we can feel forgotten about, lonely, frustrated, angry, confused and even resentful.

How do I know? Because I have been there before.

I used to fear the storms of life and even when things would be going well, I would have nagging thoughts telling me that something unfortunate had to happen because things were too good to be true.

As I have matured these past few years and have experienced (and still experience) those nasty storms of life, I have learned that eventually all storms will pass. The storm we are currently experiencing in the Northeast will eventually fade away and we will continue on with our lives. Although the storm may bring the nuisances of digging your car out of the snow, backed up traffic, delayed commute time to work or shoveling the snow in the front of your home, you know that sooner or later the snow will melt and you will move on with life.

When a snowstorm comes, we do not give up on life, we just wait for the storm to pass assured that we are prepared and enjoy the days off inside of the house. Perhaps we may even take advantage of the time indoors by taking up some household projects, starting that vision board, working on the latest arts and craft project with your kids, or finishing that new book.

Therefore, if you are experiencing a storm of your own, maybe you can do something to take your mind off of your storm and focus on something else trusting that your storm will soon pass. We may not always understand the storms of life but we cannot allow them to knock us out and even if they do, we must always get back up.

Are you facing a storm, waiting for it to pass? Here’s what you can begin to do to make the “waiting time” pass a little faster:

• Be a blessing to someone else. If you have do not have money, then give your time. Take the time to treat someone to a dinner or take your girlfriend’s children for a few hours so she can have some alone time.
• Know that your storm is preparing you to tell someone else “I’ve been there before.” How encouraging it is to know that you can guide someone through their difficult time later down the line.
• Understand that you are NOT alone. I know that it can feel as though no one understands you and that you are alone in your struggle but that is far from the truth. God is ALWAYS with you and He will never leave you, if He has not removed you from the storm then trust that He will give you the strength to get through it. I have learned that God’s grace is more than sufficient.
• Get out of your rut and call somebody. Who can you call for a fun night out? Sometimes it does not have to be a night out; maybe you invite some folks over for dinner, wine and chit chat.
• Take the limits off of God – remember that He can do the impossible. Instead of telling God about your problem, tell your problem about God. God responds to your faith, not necessarily your need. Have faith in his limitless power and His timing.
• Keep telling yourself “This too shall pass” and make the choice to be happy in spite of your circumstances. There is no need to feel as though you cannot be happy until you’ve reached the end of your storm. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

You are beautiful, strong and worthy so trust your journey. Now, will you choose to dance in the rain, or in this case, the snow?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Why Most People Won’t Make This Year, Their Year

by desing | Faith & Purpose

I am so glad to connect with you as I am extremely excited about the New Year! I’m looking forward to see what doors will be opened, the opportunities that will unveil and my capacity increasing in wisdom, business, discernment and blessings.

I’m hopeful that you are excited for 2015 too!  At the beginning of the year, we are most likely to set new goals for the year in hopes of achieving whatever it is that our hearts desire. Perhaps your goals are to get healthier, make more money, go back to school or grow spiritually and you are now focused to make it happen.

As much as we love to get on track come January, you do not need me to tell you that most resolutions are not fulfilled. Why is that? Why do we start the year off with so much passion and desire to make “this year our year” but let the goals fall by the wayside come February?

I’ve noticed that there is a big difference between a goal-setter and a goal-getter. Anyone can set a goal, but it’s only a few who actually take the necessary measures to make it happen. I can go on about the appropriate way to set, define and achieve your goals but that’s not what I want to focus on. If you want to hear more about that, feel free to download my “Art of Goal-Getting” audio teaching here.

There’s an issue that I see many of us having; which is why we struggle with sticking to our goals for the year. They are not specific and they are not measurable.

Here’s what I mean…

Let’s say that you want to get healthier for 2015 right? What does that even look like to you? Have you lost weight? If so, how much? Do you want to tone your muscles? Great, how? Do you want to change your eating habits? Sure you do, but what does that look like to you?

Or let’s say that you want to become more financially independent? Great! What does that mean? Does that mean paying off your debt? Yes? Then how much do you want to pay off and by when? Do you want to have money saved in the bank? Of course you do! So how much do you want to have saved up, by when and how will you do it?

The key here is that I want you to become specific with your goals for 2015. When your goals are specific and measurable, they are stimulating to you and they are easier to accomplish as opposed to when they are vague. If you are in debt, you should know the exact number of how much you owe, who you owe it to so you have a clear target of the amount you need to pay off. If you want to start a business, you should have a clear idea of what that business is and when you will launch it.

Your 2015 goals should be measurable so that when December of this year rolls around, you can assess if you have hit your goal or not. I cannot assess “I want my business to grow,” however, I can assess “I want to obtain (20) new clients this year whose total value in income to my business will be $50,000.” I cannot assess “I want to better off financially” but I can assess “I want to save $7,000, pay off 60% of my debt and invest 10% of my income into a mutual fund.”

Another thing that we tend to overlook is the proven power in writing our goals down, keeping them some where we can see every day and having our goals with us everywhere that we go. I have my goals written down in my journal but I also have them written down on a piece of paper which I have taped to my wall next to my bed’s headboard so that I can see them every morning when I wake up and every night as I fall asleep. Some people write their goals on a business card or index card and keep them in their wallets so they have constant access to them. Perhaps you can take a picture of your list and save it as your screensaver. I want you to do whatever works for you, but I want you to make sure that you walk around with your goals all of the time. This will not only motivate you, but in those rough moments when things get tough because they will, you can remember what you are working towards.

You have the power to take your life from average to optimal. You have the power living inside of you to create the life you want, not one that you will settle for. You have the access to the wisdom, resources and people in order to become successful. We live in an age where our answers are a Google search away or a connection can be an email away.

If there is anything that I hope for you in 2015 is that you think BIGGER. Take the limits off of the possibilities in your mind and be disciplined enough to do the work to create the legacy that will speak for itself for countless generations to come.

Please know that I am here to serve you as best as I can, if you need any assistance with setting, defining or achieving your goals, I am offering my Goal-Setting Strategy Sessions at a discounted rate for a limited time. Do not hesitate to reach out if you need me, I’m an email away.

Let’s make this OUR YEAR!!!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

What Caused That Effect?

by desing | Faith & Purpose

I heard the most incredible thing earlier this week and I want to share it with you.

I don’t know about you but when I think about the overall vision that I have for my life, I always think about where I want to be, who I want to become or what I want to have accomplished. I like to create a vivid picture in my head so I know exactly what it is that I want to achieve.

Following that, I think about the action steps that I can start doing now to get me to that point. If I want to get there, then what do I need to get there? I think to myself and then the planning, goals and action steps come out of my mind onto a notebook outlining my goals.

So it’s safe to say that I like to think with the end in mind and work backwards.

This world is filled with universal laws that govern the outcome of our lives. Every outcome or “effect” is the result of some cause. In order to have a desired effect in life, you have to know what the cause is. It’s the iron clad law of cause and effect.

For example, if the effect that I want to achieve is to lose 10 lbs in January, then I must partake in several different activities in order to achieve that effect. I know the outcome I want, now I just have to figure out what I need to do (that work’s for me) in order to achieve that outcome. Let’s say that I go on some sort of low-carb diet and work out 3 times a week for an hour each time but come January 31^st, I only lost 5 lbs. I may have to go back to my drawing board, assess what I did right or wrong and get back to working on the effect that I want to achieve. Perhaps I had a low-carb diet but I noticed that I was still consuming an abundance of fatty and sugary foods, which effected the outcome of my goal.

So for February, I decide to eliminate the fatty and sugary foods, and also replace my gym workouts with dance classes because I realize that I prefer that method of a workout, it’s twice as effective and better for my work schedule. I implement my new regimen and guess what? I not only hit my 10 lb. goal, I lose an extra 5 lbs on top of that!

What happened?

My desired effect never changed. The only thing that changed was how I would achieve that effect (my cause.)

The law of cause and effect is universal and it is not going anywhere. Every “effect” in your life has some sort of “cause.” Like the law of giving and receiving, the more you give the more you will receive – this is classic example of the law of cause and effect at work. Another example of cause and effect is the law of sowing and reaping – what you put out into this world is what will come back to you.

Why am I telling you all of this?

This is why. I want you to think about the “effect” that you want to have in your life. What is the end goal? And when you do, I want you to think about the “cause” that you need to partake in for you to get that effect. However, here is the most important part that I want you to get. You may have to try a few different “causes” in order to achieve the effect that you want.

Look at my example above about losing the 10 lbs. My desired goal did not change; I had to adjust my meal plan and workout schedule in order to lose the weight. Often, when we do not get the “effect” that we want, we decide to change the “effect” instead of going through trial and error to find the right “cause.” Success is not an accident; it is a deliberate, consistent, relentless effort that is determined to achieve that “effect.”

If you have gone through a few failures in your journey of success (as we all have), look at it as you going through your different “causes” in order to get that effect. Make it your business to learn from those failures, analyze what is working and what is not working for you and make the decision to implement new strategies.

All change in life begins with a decision and change is not an event but a process. Give yourself a break, pat yourself on the back for how far you have come and go back to drawing board if you need to.

Therefore I leave you with this, what effect are you looking to cause in your life?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy 

Principles of Faith (Video Post)

by desing | Faith & Purpose

I must admit that this week I was having a little trouble deciding what I would write about. I wanted to focus on something that has been challenging me for a few months – and that would be faith.

It is so easy to tell others to have faith and to say that you have the faith of David defeating Goliath – but it’s another thing when all you have is your faith. It’s easy to have faith when you have no problems, the ideal job, all the money and everything is going beautifully in your life – but what happens when things begin to change?

Faith is more than something we feel at a church service or when times get tough – it’s really a lifestyle. I’m a woman who believes in God the Father, God the Spirit and God the Son but this is not about me getting you to believe what I do, I am sharing my story of faith. Whatever you choose to believe is totally up to you.

When we hit rough seasons in our lives, it is natural to think to ourselves, “How did I get here?” We begin to reflect on our lives trying to discover what could have gone wrong. I did quite a bit of reflecting one night and then I realized something super important.

Throughout my entire life, I never really had to use my faith. My greatest opportunities were pretty much laid out for me. I just had to walk through the open doors of opportunity. College, great jobs, incredible relationships and even love were all pretty much given to me. Of course I had to do the work, but neither of these was a hassle to achieve. I said I had “faith” but did I really? I don’t think so.

For the first time in my life, I am faced with having faith and USING it. See, what I have realized is that faith is a muscle and in order for it to work and be strengthened, we have to use it or else it will weaken. As I have grown as a woman, I like to look at my challenges in life with a different lens. As opposed to thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” – I like to ask myself “What am I supposed to learn here?” or “What got me here in the first place?”

That is when it hit me. Maria, you are supposed to be using your faith. It’s time to strengthen that thing, get out of your pity pool and use your faith!!

I know, I know. Walking by faith and not by sight is one of those things that sound great on a Facebook post but another when you HAVE to do it. Not very fun at all. Rewarding but definitely not always fun.

That’s when I decided to come up with a list of principles of faith as I like to call them to help myself and you understand faith just a little better. This list of principles was not anything that I purposefully did; these are simply ideas that came naturally to me. Not to mention, I noticed that once I adopted these principles, that is when the magic started to happen.

So if you are one of the millions of us who are walking by faith, not by sight – hoping, expecting and praying for your breakthrough, here are some simple principles that I want to share with you to help encourage and inspire you.

• Faith believes for the best and hopes for the best.
• Faith let’s go of what one cannot control.
• Faith will get God’s attention.
• Faith will drive out fear.
• Faith believes His word and not your feelings.
• Faith knows that our feelings cannot always be trusted.
• Faith understands that when hearing the word “no” that it is for the best and the right opportunity is on its way.
• Faith trusts the process.
• Faith prays with expectancy and lives with expectancy.
• Faith gives.
• Faith is a principle of God.
• Faith believes even when no one else around you does.
• Faith knows when to laugh it off and give it to God.
• Faith knows when to walk away.
• Faith checks thoughts of fear.
• Faith remains focused, empowering you to keep your eye on the prize.
• Faith gives thanks in advance.
• Faith let’s go!

My favorite of them all is that faith let’s go! I know it can be SUPER tough to let go of what you really want or need but I am talking to you as a witness that when you let it all go, that is usually when you end up receiving what you wanted plus more.

I pray and encourage you to use your faith and believe that your best is yet to come!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy