What Are You Willing to Sacrifice For Your Dreams?

by desing | Faith & Purpose

As many of you perhaps already know, this week is considered Holy Week for Christians around the world in reverence for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Yes, I believe in that ultimate sacrifice, however what I want to focus on is that very word “sacrifice” in particular to manifesting your dreams.

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about Jesus’ sacrifice and all I kept thinking was “Wow. That was the ultimate sacrifice and look at all that He had to endure to accomplish His mission and purpose.” I thought to myself, “How many of us would be willing to make some ultimate sacrifices to achieve our life’s purpose or accomplish our dreams?”

Now I know that the sacrifices that we’ll make are minute in comparison to what Jesus endured, but I still want to ask you – what you are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your dreams?

The one thing I’ve learn in my journey of success and the many years that I have already put in to realizing my dreams is that in order to really go where I want to go, I have had to make some hard decisions and tough sacrifices.

For example, I always knew that I wanted to become an entrepreneur and also be financially stable, which was one of the first things I made sacrifices for very early on in my previous career in the music industry. While others around me were going on vacations, buying luxury purses and wearing $1,000 shoes, I decided to forgo all of that by saving at least 10% of my income, paying my credit card balance in full every month (I only kept 2 cards and I never spent more than I could pay back), forfeit family vacations and use that money to invest into my business.

I can go on and on about the sacrifices that I have made and continue to make. When others want to go out for dinner and cocktails or book lavish vacations, I tend to sacrifice those things for now because I know that I can experience the pain of discipline now or the pain of regret later. The pain of discipline weighs ounces but the pain of regret weighs tons. And once time is gone it is something that we can never get back.

What I have found fascinating is that people around me would tell me how much they yearned for a better life, get out of debt, or to live as their own bosses but yet fail to make the sacrifices that it would take to do so. If you want to take a few months off from work and give your entrepreneurial endeavor a chance then you are going to have to save money. Which means that you may have to pack your lunch to work for a while, you may not be able to go to every brunch or dinner with your girls, you may have to hold off on that vacation, you may want to sacrifice buying that expensive bag on your credit card. Or let’s say that you want to write your book and you have a busy schedule – well you may have to wake up a little earlier or go to bed a little later to work on your book. Or on the weekends when you want to relax, you may have to sacrifice time in order to achieve your dreams.

Perhaps you may want to become more serious about your acting career. Well instead of paying $500 for a girl’s trip, you may want to invest that money into some acting classes to further develop your talent.

The dream could be to buy that new house, but your credit score needs some improvement. Then you may have to sacrifice impulsive spending or paying $50 to get your nails done every other week and start doing your own manicures.

We live in such an instant gratification and microwaveable society where we want to experience the benefits of success but we do not want to commit to the process. I do not know what your dream or goal may be but I know for sure that you are going to have to make some sacrifices for it. Whether the sacrifice may be your time or money and sometimes even your prideful attitude to humble yourself enough to ask for help; I want to encourage you to make those sacrifices now while you can. They are so worth it! Yes it will hurt and yes it may not be fun but picture you achieving those goals. Picture how it will feel to be at your book launch party or traveling the world as celebrity make-up artist or decorating your dream home.

Take a moment to imagine how that would feel.

Remember that the rewards of the lack of discipline are immediate but the rewards of discipline and sacrifice are often delayed. Think of where you can stretch a little farther to make those necessary sacrifices to accomplish your dreams and I encourage you to get started now!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.com

Nobody Ever Likes a Complaining Jane

by desing | Faith & Purpose

You ever had one of those moments where someone kindly “tells you about yourself”? And you really had absolutely no idea that you were doing anything wrong only to have that person caringly tell you otherwise.

That’s why I believe that we should surround ourselves with people who will be honest and tell us what we need to hear and not what we always want to hear. The latter sounds nicer but how can you become better if you cannot accept constructive criticism?

Well, that’s not what I want to focus on here as we’ll save that one for a later date. I want to share with you something that has been revealed to me and hopefully you will refrain from making some of the mistakes I’ve been making.

So the other day I’m chatting with a good friend and telling him how I was feeling a little down because certain things were not going the way I anticipated. He turned around and asked me this, “If God parted the seas in front of you, would you still complain?” Shocked I replied, “Absolutely not! Why? Am I complaining? I’m not complaining, I’m just saying how I could do things better or how things can be better.”

He looked back at me and simply nodded, “Yes, you are complaining. Do you know how many people wish they could be in your position? Do you know how many people wish they could be their own boss? Do you know how many people would love to sit in the middle of the afternoon and have this type of conversation instead of going back to work? You sound like an Israelite.”

He then proceeded to tell me the great story of God miraculously splitting the seas for the Israelites as they ran from their enslavers, closed back the seas when the Egyptians tried to run after them, and then provided manna (bread) out of the sky every day for them to eat and THEY STILL COMPLAINED!

My heart sank. “Am I being an Israelite right now?” I thought.

Whether or not you believe the miracles of God is not the point here. The point that I want us to understand is that no matter how good things may be going we have a tendency to focus on how they could be better. It’s our human inclination to want more money, want more opportunities, want more vacation time or want more things. When we focus so much of what we do not have, then we tend to arrive at a state of contempt with what we do have. We may regrettably take for granted how far we have come or what blessings we already attain.

And the deceitful part about complaining is that we may not realize when we are doing it. I thought I was focusing on “growth” and “more opportunities” and little did I know that I was minimizing the extent to which I have already grown and all the opportunities I already have. Yes me, the woman who just announced her first published book release, which is one of my life’s dreams still found some way to focus on “what more can I get?”

I am in no way shape or form telling you to accept mediocrity in your life or to remain stagnant as we are all supposed to grow, achieve greater things and live our lives at different levels and stages. There is nothing wrong with boldly pursuing your dreams but you do not want the journey to control and take over you.

No one likes being around a “complaining Jane” as I like to call it. You know those people who have to find something wrong with everything, who always want something to be bigger and better. We have to learn to be content with what we have while on the pursuit of what we desire. Sometimes complaining can take our focus away from the beauty that lies within the journey and even delay our blessings. Choosing not to complain is making the conscious decision to enjoy your journey and not allow your journey to overtake you.

The truth of the matter is that you will be as happy as you are now than when you get the $1`million. Happiness is a choice and if you are not happy now, then you will not be happy then.

I believe that God is good and every day we can find something to truly be thankful for while learning to tone down on the complaining. I encourage you to do the following exercise for the next 21 days.

Every day, I want you to get up in the morning and before you get out of the bed tell yourself that it will be a great day and that something good will happen to you and through you. Then I want you to take the time to tell yourself five things that you can be grateful for and finally tell yourself that no matter what happens throughout the day that God is with you.

Why 21 days? Because studies show that it takes 21 days of consistent behavior to change a bad habit 

Changing your perspective can change your world.

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Why You Can’t Build Peace With People Who Have War On Their Hearts

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Have your ever been in a situation where you have the most sincerest and loving intention to help someone, restore a relationship, make peace with someone or you’re trying to help someone else understand a matter from your perspective and they do nothing but object you, attack you, and make you feel horrible for even trying to help.

You leave the conversation like, “Hold on, wait a minute. I meant no harm and why do I feel badgered, hurt and even worse than before?” This is why…

You cannot build peace with people who have war on their hearts.

What we must use is sound judgment and discernment when dealing with people who are hurting, in pain and whose pain has now manifested into a deep rooted pain, bitterness, anger and resentment. Most people who hold onto pain, eventually allow their pain to develop into those other emotions which can be deadly if left unresolved. It can lead to further stress, misplaced anger and even discomfort and disease. Several studies have proved that stress can lead to numerous health issues including hair loss, sleep dysfunction, depression, ulcers, heart disease, weight gain and even early death.

I do not know about you but I refuse to allow pain, lack of forgiveness or the internal war of others to leave me hairless, sleepless, depressed and sick.

In our minds, we think that if we remain angry at someone then we are “winning” because the other person did (fill in the blank here) and “they do not deserve my forgiveness.” Therefore, one may be fooled to believe that if you hate someone harder and longer or if you do not forgive the offender then you are winning. But who wins in the situation? The one who holds onto their pain and unforgiving spirit becomes mean, angry and bitter. Have you ever eaten something that is bitter? You know that disgruntled face that you make after you swallow the first tasteless bite? That face is a representation of who we become when we hold onto our pain and become bitter, war-driven human beings.

All the while, the person that you refuse to forgive is either living their life like its golden (perhaps continuing in their hurtful behavior) or living in misery waiting to receive your forgiveness because they know the magnitude to which they have hurt you.

Hmm…looks like a lose – lose situation to me.

Forgiveness is not about winning or losing and your forgiveness does not justify the behavior of others, your forgiveness is to set you free from that anger, resentment and bitter attitude.

Unfortunately we cannot control others, even the ones that we love the most which are the ones who can hurt us the deepest. As much as one may try to help, it is essentially up to the individual person to decide whether or not they want to continue living with that war in their hearts. Often, when we are experiencing that war, we are so knee deep in our pain, bitterness and anger that we don’t have the capacity to understand that there is a problem. We can be clouded by our own judgment in our own pain that we may not see how we’re inflicting our pain onto others, on others who may have had nothing to do with the problem because the problem is internal.

I always say that our lives are a result of the choices that we make. Although people can and will hurt you, it is your choice on how you choose to respond to the matter. You can choose to be a war-ridden person with an early death sentence or you can choose life. There is nothing more distracting from your purpose than you living in resentment and bitterness. We were not created to live that way. The essence of your strength is in your self-control and if you allow unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger to fester into your heart then you are giving away your power.

It’s so much easier to remain angry, be mean and hurtful to those who have offended you, it’s so much easier to live at war but it takes one heck of a person to pursue peace. If you ask me, that’s where the power truly lies.

Which will you choose?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.com

When You Fail and Fall

by desing | Faith & Purpose

So we all know that no one is perfect and we are all guaranteed to make a mistake every now and again. But I know that some mistakes or failures are easier to swallow than others. Next thing you know, feelings of guilt, resentment and condemnation are on the rise- what’s a girl to do?

We, as women, have a natural tendency of being super hard on ourselves. We pride ourselves in our efforts, helping others, achieving our goals, and being the best that we can be. Then there are those moments when our natural weaknesses get the best of us. Let’s face it; no one is perfect all of the time – no one.

In those moments of failures and falls, I want to encourage you to forgive yourself, ask yourself what wisdom can you gain from the situation and encourage yourself on how you will do better next time. You may even have to go a step further and ask for help where you need to. You know that I’m a believer, and I believe that with God all things are possible. I put an emphasis on the “with” for a reason. If I depend on myself and my own will power all of the time, then I am bound to fail. We have to learn to be real with ourselves and our weaknesses so that we can prevent them from getting the best of us. For that reason, I lean on God and I am learning to be honest about where I struggle the most and ask for His wisdom, guidance and strength in those areas.

If you know that you have a bad temper and it has been a problem for you then see if you can identify what triggers you and why and work on it. Or if you know that you really have a problem with not paying your bills on time, then start taking proactive measures to change that. Perhaps enter calendar reminders, or pay your bill as soon as you receive it instead of waiting until the past due date. Or if you have a tendency to go back to dating someone who you know you have absolutely no business dating, then try to ask yourself why do you feel the need to go there. Is it loneliness, comfort, fear, low-self worth? Determine what the root is and make your changes. Perhaps you can get an accountability partner who you call every time you get tempted to see that person for encouragement.

Most importantly, forgive yourself because neither you nor anyone else around you is perfect. Sometimes we can focus on all the failures instead of focusing on the successes. If you’ve hurt others in your failures then ask for genuine forgiveness, forgive yourself, learn from it, dust yourself off and move forward. If God can forgive us for anything and everything, over and over again, then why can’t we forgive ourselves?

No need to wallow in your own pity party because you may only be making the situation worse. When you feed into feelings of guilt and condemnation, you are feeding into the lie that says that you are unworthy.  Condemnation is not something that comes from God, because God loves you, all of you, no matter what you have done, are doing or will do.

Therefore, I leave you with this – “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.”

Rise girl, rise!!!!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.com

Go ‘Head With Your Productive Self! 10 Tips of Productivity and Time-Management

by desing | Faith & Purpose

Don’t you just love the feeling of looking at your to-do list at the end of the day and realizing that you have crossed everything off? Then, there are those days that you seem to only get one or two things done and next thing that you know, hours have flown by.

You begin to think, “Where did the day go?”

Some days are more productive than others as unforeseen circumstances can create an undesirable shift in the day. However, our days should be as productive as possible. Time does not favor anyone, no matter your race, gender, size or financial status. Each and every one of us has 24 hours a day but it is essentially your choice of how you will utilize your time.

I read this one picture quote that said, “You have the same amount of hours a day as Beyonce.”

I know, I know. You may be thinking that she has all the help and handlers accessible to assist her in having a the best darn day that anyone can have but that should not be an excuse for you to not give each and every day your all.

Time-management and productivity can be a challenge for some and come a little easier for others. I’m on that latter end of that spectrum as I had to learn to juggle several projects, support executives, a full-time school load and a personal life in my previous career in the music business. On that journey, I have learned several important keys to getting the most out of my day that I want to share with you.

If you have big dreams that you want to manifest, then you must understand that it is going to take a huge amount of commitment from you. It will not happen overnight. I have said it before and I will say it again, how successful you will become is determined in your daily routine. Success is little by little, day by day which is why it is essential for you to maximize your opportunities in each day.

And I am going to show you how. Here are my top 10 productivity and time-management tips to achieve your dreams.

1. Wake up early! My pastor has this running joke where he says, “If you wake up at 11am, then go back to bed because the day is over.” I find it fascinating that we can wake up early for a job that we may not care much for but we will not wake up early to work on our dreams. Sufficient rest is vital for your wellness, so try to get to bed earlier if you need to in order to get your day started earlier. Perhaps you need to wake up an hour earlier than normal to work out or send out important emails or work on your book.
2. Start your day in prayer or meditation. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes, take the time to spend quiet time with God, read a devotional, affirm positivity for your day or meditate on His word.
3. Send your most important emails early in the morning. If you want to assure responses from others, then refrain from sending those important emails later in the day. Once people are in full swing of their day, there is less likely a chance that they will respond in a timely fashion. When you send morning emails, you are at the top of their inbox for the day.
4. Plan your day the day before. At the end of each day, look at what you got done and write down you to-do list for the next day. You will start your day with intention and purpose, knowing exactly what needs to get done and why.
5. Have a routine. Your success is indicative in your daily routine, every day you should have a routine that breeds your success. Perhaps it may be working out, reading, rehearsing, taking action towards your goals etc.
6. Know your most productive time of the day. Some people are morning people so working on their hardest tasks in the morning works best for them. Others work best in the afternoon or in the evening hours.  Know what time of the day you are most productive and adjust your task list to work on your most central tasks then.
7. Use your time wisely. I have a confession to make. Prior to me resigning from my full time career in the music industry, I would work on my dreams during my day job daily. Embrace Her Legacy was built from that desk. How? I used my time wisely. I would work on work-related items from 10am-3pm and the rest of the day, I would work on Embrace Her Legacy tasks. I knew the busy times of the day so I made sure to get most of my work done then so I could use the rest of the day for my own tasks. Learn what works best for your schedule. Maybe you can use your lunch break to workout, or you can work on your book for an hour when you get home or you can work on your business plan during those down hours at the office.
8. Time everything that you do. It’s important for you to have a schedule. For instance, instead of writing down reply to emails, you can write down reply to emails (9am-10am), then develop presentation (10am-10:45am) and then finalize quarterly budgets (10:45am-12pm). I’ve noticed that when we do not time ourselves then we tend to get distracted and spend too much time on a task.
9. Eliminate distractions. That extra time on Facebook or Instagram could be time that you can use to focus on your action steps for the day. Looking at what others are doing can be a serious distraction. Stay focused on you and your task at hand. If you feel like you are having social media withdrawal symptoms then give yourself a block of time, no more than 10 minutes to check in.
10. Write your reminders down. You will be distracted by emails, phone calls and texts. Or you may even remember that you forgot to reply to that email from yesterday. This is why you write those things down as they come along. Instead of stopping while working (unless it is urgent), then you can write yourself a note to call your brother back, or to RSVP for that party or to pick up your dress from the cleaners. Once you write it down, you can get back to it and not have to stop your workflow.

Whew! I hope that you can begin to apply any or all of these tips tomorrow, yes, tomorrow. Why wait until next week? Remember, that you have the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce. Now go ahead with your productive self!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.om

Get In Tune With Your Tenacity

by desing | Faith & Purpose

The other day I had a lunch meeting and the topic of conversation was all things business, empowerment and one very special ingredient to success that we must all possess. And that ingredient, my darling, is something called tenacity.

According to my multiple Google searches, the definition of tenacity is the quality or fact of being very determined or continuing to exist. Engaging in your tenacity is about your persistence and your endurance. I know you can relate to that on this world-wind journey of success. You can experience ups and downs and even more downs than ups in particular season.

I like to think about our lives, in particular our success in achieving the life we want, as similar to marathons as opposed to a 100-meter sprint. Sprints are exhilarating and great to watch but they are often over in a matter of seconds. In a marathon, it is not the swift who wins it’s the one who tenaciously endures to the end. Would you prefer your legacy to be more of a sprint or a marathon?

When you run in a marathon, it is great if you aim to win but to simply say that you have participated in and completed a marathon race is an extremely remarkable achievement in itself. How many people do you know who would actually go through the intense training, dedication and resilience to run a marathon? Anyone who commits to a marathon is already a winner in my eyes. Consequently, if you are already on your journey to birth your dreams, instead of settling for average, then you are already a winner.

If you were to simply Google “how to be successful” – you would probably get millions of results. Everything from starting your day early to investing in your personal development to changing the way you think (all of which you should do) will show up on your screen. But there is that exceptional element that one cannot teach or read about in order to learn, it’s something that we must physically experience in our lives in order to achieve it and that is tenacity.

It’s like reading a book on running a marathon. You can read the book all you’d like but in order to really understand what it will take from you in order to successfully run in that marathon then you have to actually participate in those suggested activities. There is a Bible verse that says “When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, your will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-3 – NLT). Therefore, your trials are developing your endurance which is developing your tenacity so that you can become stronger, more confident in your ability and prepared to successfully fulfill your purpose.

The person who has hit rock bottom and risen above it to achieve their dreams is confident in his or her ability that no matter what happens then she or he can get back up again. This marathon of success is not about how many times you fell or had to slow down for a minute, the winners are the ones who keep getting back up. That is the part of your story that is going to attract your success towards you. Success is something that you will attract by the person you become.

We have all failed. We have all made mistakes. We all have had to go through difficult seasons. You never know – your comeback may be one more week away or that “yes” that you have been waiting to hear is only a few more “no’s” away.

What I am learning is that your true character will come out when you have nothing else to stand on. Your money may be gone, you may have lost your job, you may be in debt, you may have ended a relationship, you may have lost your home but it’s there where you will get to know who you really are. I heard this quote from Joel Osteen, “If you cannot be trusted in the wilderness, then you cannot be trusted in the Promised Land.”

It is time for you to get in tune with your tenacity and make the declaration to yourself that come hook or crook you are going to keep marching forward. I do not care how bad it’s been, I am here to speak victory and breakthrough in your life. Your weeping may have endured for a night (or maybe a lot of nights) but your joy is coming in the morning.

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.com

Speak Those Things As Though They Already Are

by desing | Faith & Purpose

What are those things in your life right now that seem darn near impossible to achieve? What giant are you facing that seems like it is too large for you to overcome? What dream are you fighting for but it looks like your dream is taking so long to manifest that you think it may be a dream deferred?

It is so easy to focus on what it looks like, right? It’s so easy to focus on what has yet to manifest. It is NOT easy to have faith in circumstances that not only seem far beyond your control but also the facts are telling to you to quit because things will not change so you might as well lose all hope.

We have to learn to speak those things as though they are because there is death and life in the power of our tongues. Our thoughts and words are incredibly more powerful than we may think and we have to conquer our giants with proven methods of success instead of doubting that we’ll see victory in the end.

In order to kick your giant in the butt, you have to believe it before you receive it. If we focus on what we see or if we focus on the dire circumstance then our joy, peace and hope will be shattered. Once your hope and faith are gone, you may enter a dangerous zone of pity, doubt, hopelessness, misery, resentment, anger and frustration – which you are way too fabulous for! This is why it is important for you to send your emotions to school so that you can train them to know how and when to act.

The last thing that you need right now, if you are facing a huge challenge or if you’re having faith for something bigger than yourself, is to have an attitude of despair. We all hate waiting right? Waiting for the prayer to be answered, waiting on line, waiting for the right opportunity, waiting for the storm to pass. But it’s not about what you are waiting for as much as it is about how you are waiting.

Begin to speak your prayer being answered, begin to speak those doors of opportunity opening, begin to speak your healing or the healing of a loved one, begin to speak your financial restoration and increase, begin to speak the outcome that you are hoping for and not what the “facts” are telling you. Truth is that our lives can be changed around in an instant but you have to believe that. You have to believe it in your spirit; know this too shall pass and you will indeed receive your blessing. Consider having a spirit of gratitude and thanking God in advance for already hearing you and answering your call.

Wake up each morning with a spirit of victory. If you are going through a tough time then it may work to not talk about it so much. When we keep talking about it, all of the time, to anyone who will listen then those feelings of discouragement and despair are right around the corner. Last week I talked about the power of having a tangible image attached to your vision. You may want to try looking at those images every time you want to give up.

It’s time to stop giving our temporary circumstances so much power. Trust me when I say that I know that it hurts, I know that it’s hard, I know that you might just want to throw a temper tantrum, I know exactly how it feels to be dead smack in the middle of insurmountable challenges feeling as though things are never going to turn around for the better. Nevertheless, we were created to be more than conquerors, we were created to thrive, we were created to achieve, we were created to win but it all begins in our minds.

Once you believe it, you will begin to speak it. The words you speak have the power to attract what you want and what you do not want in your life. Focus your words on speaking your triumph, not what your circumstance may look like. Let God do what He promised that we would and if things do not work out the way you though it would, this does not mean that God is mad at you or judging you. Absolutely not! He loves you, all of you, UNCONDITIONALLY. All things are working together for a greater purpose – will you trust and believe it?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy