Life at 30, What I Know For Sure…

by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools

Well, well, well, it is that time of the year again. We each have that one day of the year where we celebrate the day in which we were born into this world and this week is my turn. Yes, I celebrate my birthday and every year that we live to see is indeed a celebration.

However, there are certain birthdays that are considered monumental and certainly deserve some celebration. Your 1^st birthday is the celebration of your first year on this earth, your 16^th birthday you get your license and an amazing sweet 16, your 18^th birthday you are now an “adult” and “grown”, your 21^st birthday you can legally drink and you’re excited to go out to the club with your new over 21 Identification Card, your 25^th birthday you’re a quarter centurion and then you have the 30^th birthday.

Which do you think I am turning this week?

You guessed it, the lovely 30.

What can I say about the 30^th birthday? For some reason, I feel that society tells me that I should have it all together by now. I should be the millionaire that I set out to be, I should be married with 1.5 children and a have house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a dog to match. I should have some safe and stable job that pays benefits while planning my annual 2-week vacation.

I can say that NONE of that is my reality just yet and I am perfectly fine with that. See a few years ago, for my 27^th birthday, I decided to take the biggest leap of faith in my life. I boldly chose to resign from my “good, safe, high profile job” in the music business to pursue what I knew God was calling me to do. To empower you, yes you. Women and girls all over this world to give birth to your dreams, to conquer fears, doubt and low-self worth, to live a life with no limits, lead purpose-driven lives and to essentially live according to the legacy you desire to leave.

Hands down the best decision I have ever made for myself was quitting my job to pursue purpose and courage instead of comfort and practicality. I am beyond proud of myself, my accomplishments and how far I have come. This journey is not for the faint of heart and not to toot my own horn, but by the grace of God, I have achieved some pretty spectacular achievements and I’m JUST getting started!

But, like many of us do, I put a lot of pressure on myself. There is this pressure for us women to have it all together all of the time, but what human being does? Isn’t vulnerability, facing challenges, failing and learning a part of every human beings existence? So why do we continue to put so much pressure on ourselves?

We live in a world where we allow others to measure our success. The world tells us that success is money, power and fame. If you ask me, success is the accomplishment of worthy goals. The key to dealing with the pressures of society is to define and measure your own success.

Honestly, I have failed several times in the last three years, but I have received such priceless rewards in return. Every time I get a check written out to Embrace Her Legacy or a contract that I am signing or an email from a young girl who I have inspired or a message from a woman who is manifesting her dream, it only justifies that every challenge I have faced on this journey of success was more than worth it.

Oftentimes we may believe that we are not qualified to birth our dreams. But here is something that I have learned in the last few years, God does not call the qualified. He regularly calls the unqualified so that He will get the glory and you have to believe that. If you continue to look at your surroundings and telling yourself every reason as to why you cannot fulfill the desires of your heart then you are going to be letting year after year pass by feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I know that feeling all too well. I was MISERABLE in my job for YEARS before I decided to get my butt up and do something about my frustration with my life. Nevertheless, it took years for me to finally get the guts to do so. I went on vacations, I bought more shoes and bags, and I indulged in nights of fabulous 5-star dinners and countless bottles of wine – all to fill that void.

In all transparency, nothing was ever enough to fill the void, no matter how much I shopped, how much I drank or how much I wished things were different. Eventually I had to make the choice to change even though I was really scared and I knew others would not understand. I had to put me and my dreams first, I had to put God first and stand on His promises for me.

I started this message telling myself that I would share the top 10 things that I’ve learned in my 20’s but I guess God wants me to share these specific words for someone reading this.

I may not know you or where you are or the challenges that you have faced, but I do know a God who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than you can ask or think. I know that living in your purpose and achieving your dreams is not about you, it is about all the lives that you will impact, serve and inspire while you are doing so. Someone needs you, yes you, to manifest that dream that is inside of your heart. They need you to start that business, to write that book, to design those clothes, to open that school, to start that non-profit organization, to finish that degree, to take that leadership position in your church, to create that talk show – I do not know what it is, but someone needs you because you are going to be using your unique gifts, abilities and talents to serve their needs. You NEVER know how you will impact the life of someone else.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will it be worth it? I stand here as living proof that it will surely be worth it! Just get started.

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
www.embraceherlegacy.com

Set The Atmosphere, Don’t Let It Set You

by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools

So I was teaching an empowerment workshop last week to a group of dynamic teenage girls and I admitted to them that I would not want to be in their shoes. Why? Because when I was 16 years old, there wasn’t a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, heck, we were lucky if we had dial-up or AOL Instant Messenger.

I said that because I remember it being hard enough trying to find my identity, my worth and confidence without all the distractions and pressures of social media. I commended these girls because they are indeed a breakthrough generation, in which they are the first generation to grow up from adolescent to adulthood in the digital age of social media.

Let’s face it, we are constantly bombarded with images, content, opinions, media, advertisements and all else in between on a daily basis and at such a rapid pace. I know that many people are simply addicted to scrolling through images and digital content perhaps thinking that they will miss out on something or they feel the need to see what everyone else is doing. However, I know that social media is starting to play a significant role in our self-confidence (even though it should not) or in our envy of one another.

You know what I’m talking about.

You see other people succeeding and you feel like you’re just not matching up. Or you see other people commenting, sharing their thoughts on anything from the latest celebrity gossip or YouTube sensation and you may look at your News Feed with the sense of, “Really? Is this what we’re talking about today?”

I know that oftentimes I feel like an outcast because truth be told, there are things that matter to the world (especially in this celebrity driven culture) that really do not matter to me. I would rather read a Jim Rohn book or watch a Terri Savelle Foy video and share my thoughts on inspirational content like these two but I will be first to say that I have caught myself not sharing as much as I would like to in fear of “coming off too snobby” or hearing things like “all she talks about is success.” To the point that I have caught myself dimming my light in the presence of others because I feared their rejection.

Nevertheless, I have made the conscious decision to embrace what it is that makes me – me and I refuse to dim my light in fear of the opinions of others. Their opinion of me should not change my opinion of myself. The opinion that matters most is the one that I have of me. And that is exactly what I am encouraging you to do.

Sometimes we may put on a mask to conceal who we really are. Women, especially, feel the need to dim their light in order to fit it and gain approval whether it is in the workplace or social circles. I am someone who has always wanted greatness for my life, and it can be difficult to be a big thinker in an environment that enables small thinking. When you are a big thinker, people look at you like you are insane, as if something were wrong with you for having the audacity to dream that big and not only dream but to manifest that dream. Listen, I know that when we are manifesting our dreams, it is natural to want others around us to join the ride, but we have to remember that not everyone has the same capacity level that we attain.

If you ever feel like you’re alone or that you are crazy for birthing your dreams, please know that you are not alone. If you feel like you are different from everyone else around you, embrace whatever those things are that make you distinctive. The world needs you to be you. The next time you get on your social media, and the lies tell you that you do not measure up then speak back to those lies. You are on your own trajectory of success. If no one around you understands you, then start to develop fresh relationships with people who do. If you are the smartest one in your circle then your circle is too small.

Do not allow the limited thinking of others to hinder you from embracing your dreams and daring to go after them. It’s time for you to set the atmosphere instead of allowing the atmosphere to set you!

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Increasing Your Capacity (Video Post)

by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools

When you hear the word “capacity” what is it that comes to your mind? For the New Year, my pastor preached a message in regards to our capacity and it has been on my mind ever since. Every year we have a different theme of growth at my church and needless to say that this year, it’s “capacity.”

Capacity is all about the potential inside of you which essentially boils down to the existing possibility within you. What I have learned over the years is that we do not know exactly what our capacity is until it is tested, stretched and strengthened.

Crisis will reveal the cracks in your character but it can also reveal what you are capable of and move you from one place to another. In these circumstances, we are almost forced to increase our capacity in order to grow or become who we have been called to be. But besides crisis or uncontrollable circumstances, how else does one increase their capacity?

The key word in defining capacity is potential. So many of us are filled with so much potential but for some reason, it remains just that – potential. Your potential is the existing possibility within you, meaning that something special exists but it will essentially be your conscious decision to take that existing possibility inside of you to its greatest potential. Once again, life is about the choices we make. If we want a better life then we have to make better decisions. You can choose to be one of those people who are filled with potential but never really did anything with it or you can choose to become someone who exhausts their potential to its utmost capacity.

Therefore, in order to increase your potential to in turn increase your capacity, then you are going to have to be willing to change. I want you to really go to the next level this year and I want you to be deliberate about it, instead of hoping that some sort of magic is going to fall out the sky and give you your perfect life or better yet hoping that you’ll win the lottery, I want you to be intentional in assuring the plan that you have for your life.

This is the key for increasing your potential – increase your value. We can make the mistake into thinking that we get paid for our time but we get paid for our value. I’ve noted before that two people can work for the same company while one makes a $30,000 annual salary while the other makes a $3.5 million annual salary. It’s the same amount of time but the difference is the value to the company. When you focus on increasing your value, then you will not have to go running after opportunities, the opportunities will start knocking at your door. Too many of us want an above average salary with an average work ethic.

So what do you need to do to increase your value? Perhaps it’s furthering your education, enrolling in a certification program, garnering a new level of clientele, reading a few books, volunteering, signing up for new training classes or hiring a coach.

There are some people who walk into a room, speak for an hour and walk out with a $20,000 check. I know it can be farfetched to even think that it’s possible for someone to make $20,000 in an hour, when it takes most people months to make that same amount of money. I don’t want you to mistake this and think that I’m saying to make everything about money; this is about you taking action to give birth to your wildest dreams. Let’s say you did win the lottery, you wouldn’t turn down the money right? So why is it that we cannot take the necessary measures in our lives in order to create the life that we think only winning the lottery will bring us.

For this year, I want you to increase your capacity. Increase the possibility that exists within you. How you choose to do that is your choice, but you have to be purposeful about it. The last thing you want is to look back in ten years and regret, only wishing that you have taken the time to hone in on your potential. Time is the most valuable asset that we can often undermine, but once it’s gone there is absolutely nothing that we can do to get it back. Today is a precious gift and that it is why it is called the present.

Do what you can to make yourself sharper, smarter, wiser, a better communicator or disciplined. Make the mindful decision to grow in value, maturity, relationships, understanding, awareness and selflessness as I will be doing the same!

How will you choose to increase your capacity this year?

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy

Is Your Thought Filter On? (Video Post)

by desing | Faith & Purpose, Tools

The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.

If you’re a student of success like I am, then you have probably heard more times than once about the power of our thoughts and how they directly influence our moods, decisions, and ultimate success story.

Our lives are also composed by our choices.

Which leads me to say that if our minds control our choices then our thoughts are perhaps one the most powerful weapons that we possess. A weapon that we may take for granted and not understand it’s full power.

I heard someone once say that “We are our thoughts.” If that were true, what do you think your thoughts would say about you.

Changing the way we think is something that takes a lifetime to ultimately achieve because it’s not as simple as we may think – no pun intended.

Instead of giving you my spiel on the power of positive thinking, I want you to analyze your thoughts of the day and find out what are your dominating thoughts. It’s one thing to have one positive thought and think “job well done,” but it’s another to have dominating thoughts that are rooted in fear, guilt, anxiety, worry, insecurity or negativity.

Dominating thoughts are not necessarily the thoughts that you have about yourself; it can be thoughts of others or your thoughts of the world. We are constantly hit with images, content, news and more about all things negative from diseases to crisis around the world to the latest publicity ploy from (insert celebrity name here) to news of crime and more crime to news of daily injustices. We cannot be naïve enough to believe that all these images that we are exposed and that we choose to expose ourselves to are not affecting our thought life.

In this day of social media, it seems like the “news” is non-stop and everyone is giving their opinion whether it was asked of them or not. You cannot read this and think that what you see does not end up influencing you because it does – perhaps not in a major way but all negativity needs is one seed planted and all it will take is another negative circumstance to water it after another to harvest into a negative thought life.

I personally noticed this in myself years ago and purposefully stopped reading certain blogs, watching the news at night and refused to continue viewing programs of what has now become “ratchet TV.” I noticed that everything I was watching or reading was taking a toll on my spirit because instead of thinking hope, I thought injustice or instead of thinking of love, I thought of judgment.

Now I am not telling you to stop enjoying whatever makes you happy. However, pay attention to what you’re watching, what you’re thinking, what you’re listening to and what you’re reading. Is it uplifting you? Is it empowering you? Is it motivating you? Is it challenging you? Are you learning? Is it having a negative effect on your thought life? What are these images doing for you?

Have a filter on what you choose to allow yourself to watch, hear or read. You’d be surprised as to how these things can influence your thought life which can in turn effect your decisions which will ultimately impact your destiny.

You have the power to control what you think – pay attention to those dominating thoughts of yours and if they’re rooted in any negativity then I want you to do some digging and determine what planted seed has harvest in your mind. Once you’ve figured it out, do what you need to get rid of the seed and all the weeds that have grown with it.

Remember this final note, how you hear is colored by the condition of your heart.

XOXO,

Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy