I’ve heard the saying of “you show others how you want to be treated,” however, it really started hitting home over the last few years.

What I recognized in the process of defining my self-worth and respect is the importance of creating boundaries – specifically boundaries in our relationships whether it be family, friends or lovers.

I experienced years and years of low self-worth even though I did not know it back then. I thought the dysfunctional behavior I was exhibiting was normal until the red flags started waving frantically and I became FED UP with making the same old mistakes.

I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw, so instead of mopping about it, I made the conscious effort to change it. And I made it my business to never allow anything to come in between my sanity and my self-worth, I would always put that first before anything else.

I noticed that one of my biggest problems was not putting boundaries on people. I would allow people to come into my life and do as they pleased. “Friends” would say cruel things, men would be disrespectful, controlling and out right selfish. Loved ones would pretend to care about my situation only to gossip and say hurtful things behind my back. But how could I love if I barely knew how to love myself? Life was showing me how I truly felt about myself.

People need to understand consequences for their actions and they need to respect the boundaries that you set in your life. It can be hurtful because sometimes you have to learn to love people from afar.

I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER allow anything to come in between me, my peace and my worth. We are all on the journey to becoming our best selves and I like who I’ve become.

If there is any chaos, unhealthy relationship or dysfunctional behavior in your life then I want you to identify what is it inside of you that thinks that this type of behavior is acceptable? Our lives are mirror images about how we feel about ourselves on the inside. The more you sow your energy into the chaos, unhealthy relationships or dysfunctional behavior then the more you’ll reap from it.

Challenge yourself to do some Spring cleaning on the inside of you. Determine what you will and will not deal with in your life and set those boundaries on people. Live your life courageously for you and not for others. You are worth having the best in this life and that includes relationships with others. Get rid of the fear that tells you that you are not worth better, you my love are priceless! You were created with intention so it’s time to live with that same intention in your life.

Don’t complain about how others treat you if you are not going to do anything about it. They key to a better life is making better choices.

XOXO,

We are all going to deal with storms in our lives and many of us at the same time. However, there is so much power in giving love and being there for others in spite of your circumstances. We may not always be able to control the storms of life but we can control how we choose to react to them.

I never really understood the power of love until a few days ago. I woke up the morning of my birthday, thankful but still in a funk over some circumstances that I’m dealing with. (I love how people think that those of us who are inspirational and positive don’t deal with tough circumstances LOL.) The prayer that morning was simple – “God, things may not be going the way I thought they would, but I know I can count on your love for me. Surround me with your love today.”

That day and the days after, I heard from countless loved ones, hung out with some pretty awesome people, heard an incredible testimony about loving others through our storms and was even surprised by family and friends with a surprise birthday brunch. I knew it was God; I knew He heard me. The love I felt from that day and onward has been like nothing I have ever experienced in my life, I know it’s God for God is love.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because the love I received the past few days has strengthened and revitalized me with a new found focus and outlook on life. Life is more than what we get done, how much money we have or a vacation to an island. It also made me want to spread that love to others; I received the love and now I want to give the love. I refuse to allow “life” to distract me from loving someone else. I say this to tell you that you never know how you “loving on someone” can impact a life. It’s not all about you and your storm (which will eventually pass.) Do something filled with love for someone else in your life in spite of what you may be going through. Take your niece for an afternoon to give her mom a break for the day, cook a warm dinner for a friend, offer to buy the homeless man something to eat, send flowers to your parent just because, give your little cousin that jacket of yours that she likes, call your friends instead of texting, write a handwritten note to your beau – get my drift?

Instead of focus on getting the blessing, have the courage to be the blessing and trust God to use you in ways far beyond what you can imagine. Your circumstance may not change over night, but you are taking back your power by no longer allowing your circumstances to control how you treat others.

Change the prayer from God give me to God use me. The storm you’re in may be a part of God using you to be able to encourage someone else one day by saying “I’ve been there before.” Think about it.

XOXO,

Let’s be real here for one second.

We live in a culture that tells you to work until you can’t work anymore and keep working after that. Rightfully so, because 40% of Americans are one check away from living under the poverty line. I completely understand that we have to work, but shouldn’t we at least try to create a work life that is what we want? I know it’s hard, but it is possible. Is that not the American dream?

So on my journey of birthing my vision and living my legacy, I will admit that I feel super alone because I’m not doing the ordinary thing. Ordinary would have been to stay at a job the made me miserable and indulge in shopping, drinking or whatever else to take my mind off the fact that I was miserable at work. I speak from experience. Extraordinary is walking by an insane amount of faith and trusting God to show me how to use my gifts, talents and abilities to serve others and ultimately live the life that He ordained for me.

After battling with these feelings of “loneliness”, I heard a pastor preach and his message was “God doesn’t do group calling, He called you so you have to be willing to walk alone. Remember that no matter how lonely you may feel, God is and always will be with you.”

That message pierced my heart because I knew I needed to hear it. I learned that I have to be willing to walk my journey alone and sometimes that’s best because truth is most people will not understand why you’re choosing courage over comfort.

So many times we want our loved ones to understand, support us or even walk with us on our journey but that is not how it works out sometimes. You have to be willing to walk your journey of living in purpose by yourself. It’s not up to you to make others understand, you have to live in the conviction that what you are doing is right for you.

We each have a different calling over our lives and I am tired of seeing fear play such a vital role in holding us back. Fear tells you that you will lose your friends and you’re better off taking the safe route. I do not know of one influential leader that got to where they are by playing it safe or worrying about who would join them on the journey.

Truth is that your journey will show you who your real friends are. Not everyone is set to make it with us, sometimes we hold onto relationships for dear life without realizing that perhaps the season for that relationship has passed. It’s OK to let people go and trust God to take care of them as you do. We are not responsible for other people’s lives; that’s actually a deadly and dysfunctional road to walk down. You have to believe that people have the power to lead their own lives and you have the power to lead yours and yours only.

Be committed to you and your calling. Remember God does not do group calling, He called YOU and no matter how you may feel you are never alone. I’m convinced that me being “alone” is a sign that I am well on my way because all the greats have had to walk their journey alone at one point, even when the world did not believe or understand.